The Confessions of Church Barbie

Something Blue

2012-02-10T09:11:00.002-05:00

Recently I mentioned to my mom and Grandma that I'd love for my "something blue" to be a related to my Grandpa Howard who passed away fairly unexpectedly almost a year ago. With my great fortune and blessing, Grandpa Howard was the first of my grandparents to leave us, so his passing was a new sense of loss for myself and my family that we had not yet had to experience.

My vision was to have fabric from one of my Grandpa's shirts sewn into the inside of my dress so that he'd be right there with us during the ceremony and then dancing the night away in celebration. That man loved to dance! At my cousin's wedding, just a short 6 months before he passed, we had the pleasure of seeing his moves and let me tell you, the man was on fire! He danced ALL NIGHT LONG. I've never seen his smile so bright and carefree in all of my 33 years, so I knew at my wedding, I'd want him to be on that dance floor in spirit!

Last night, out of the blue, I came home from a long day at work to find a small but thick envelope from my mom. Not knowing what it could possibly be, I opened the small card to a note that said "Your something blue" and inside was a piece of Grandpa's blue shirt cut into the shape of a heart ready for my big day. My heart sank and melted all at the same time.

For the next 20 minutes I sat on the kitchen floor and cried into that blue heart. I cried for his loss and ours. I cried for my Grandma who gave up the shirt of her best friend so that it could be his presence on the day their granddaughter would get married. I cried over the memories of our last few days with him and how blessed I feel for being there for those precious days and nights. I cried that I never got to tell him that I was going to get to marry my best friend after 15 years, and I cried that he won't be there to see it in body. And lastly I cried happy tears that his body is at rest and he doesn't have to struggle with any illness or anxiety anymore.

And when it was time to stop crying, I smiled knowing that we're going to have a really big dance party in a few months and he'll be right there with us in his element, smiling ear to ear in our hearts.

I never knew my "something blue" could mean so much.

Crazy Dayz

2012-02-09T10:51:00.002-05:00

True confession, I'm a burn the candle at both ends kind of girl. Always have been and I hope I always will be one. I want to make the most of my life and if that requires some candle burning, bring it on. However, with all of that being said, I'm starting to feel as though I'm burning about 25 candles at both ends right now and I think it's catching up to me more than I like to admit.

With my very exciting wedding plans upon me, of which I am not complaining about at all because I am in love with figuring out every detail, my mind is constantly in overload mode. And when you add in my full time career where I'm co-hosting a conference for a few hundred invitees, coaching college cheerleading part-time, and now chairing and planning a community event for 250 local teens, I'm afraid I'm starting to come undone.

I'm tempted daily to schedule reminders to breathe, eat, sleep through the night without waking up in a panic over prom dresses or managing entertainment for a 200 person volunteer dinner, etc... And aside from forgetting to breathe about 15 times a day, I'm starting to feel like there is a lunatic trapped in my small frame. Things are starting to come out of my mouth that I haven't approved yet mentally. Things that sound ungrateful and often times negative, which are in no part a reflection of how I'm truly feeling. I also slightly fear a meltdown in the near future, and I'm praying that I can get in front of it before it unravels its ugly self.

For a planner and candle burner like me, crazy can be a great thing when harnessed. I just need to contain and redirect the crazy a little better into thankfulness for all of the recent events and blessings that the Lord has entrusted to me. And I'm convinced the Lord must think that I am an amazing multi-tasker to allow me the responsibility of said events. With prayer, sleep and a lot of scheduled deep breaths, I'm sure we'll have amazing success for those we'll get to reach and serve.

I'm just praying to turn the crazies to thanks, and in the meantime, if you see or hear any abnormal behavior or feisty behavior out of me, please kindly shake me, slap my cheek and tell me to "get it together". Then please follow with a hug because you never want to end with a slap when dealing with a lunatic;)

A Bride to Be

2011-10-25T11:01:00.002-04:00

I'm back after months of silence and zero time to write and zero time to be creative. Do I have much more time on my hands now? Umm, that'd be a resounding no. Do I need a creative outlet before my head explodes? And the angels all sang in unison, YYYYEESSSS!

For 32 years (okay, maybe more like 20), I've dreamt of what my wedding would look like, sound like, taste like, and feel like. I've planned it a million times over in my head. I have actual word documents saved full of ideas and photos that I've found over the years, and after attending countless weddings, I've narrowed down what I like, don't like, love and loathe at weddings. So it would make sense that everything should now fall into place and be roses and fireworks and red velvet cupcakes, right? Again, not so much.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my upcoming wedding to my best friend and partner for the rest of my life. I could not be happier to start our journey together in June! I love thinking about it and I could talk your ear off about the details if you'd let me. What I don't love about planning this special day is the stress that comes along with it. I don't love the amount of money you are expected to pay to have everything you thought you always wanted only to find out that you cannot afford any of it. I hate that vendors can charge you 3 times what you'd normally pay simply because you've attached the word "wedding" to the conversation. Shouldn't our focus be on the celebration and not so much the purse strings? Can I not simply have a tasty reception without going broke before we start down the aisle?

My goal, somehow, is to keep my eyes and mind focused on the start of our marriage and not on the stress that can become the wedding if I let it. I am committed to enjoying this time and finding ways to have the day I've dreamed of without going into debt. I will be creative. I will be resourceful. And I will stay positive. I have found the one my heart loves and this day in June should be a reflection of that love and joy and not one of our wallets. It will. Or else;)

I Love Pandora Radio!

2011-05-19T17:22:00.002-04:00

Thanks to the lovely selections Pandora has hand picked for me today, I now want to: touch the rains down in Africa, die in your arms tonight, take a stairway to heaven, look wonderful tonight, say what I need to say, wonder "what about love?", not wait til the water runs dry, take a breathe that's true, and to find the secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord.

Pandora, you rock, my friend. And in turn you make my work day rock!

3 Cheers for...

2011-05-17T17:18:00.002-04:00

-Summer hours at work! What what!
-Eating outdoors before it gets way too hot and your make-up melts off of your face before dessert arrives.
-Loving your neighborhood and the fantastic people that come with it all.
-Neighbors that let you crash their pool. I respect generosity.
-Red Velvet ice cream from Ben and Jerry's! Double high-fives for you my men.
-My gym playlist on my iPod. Who knew "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" could be so motivating?!
-Actually enjoying the gym.
-Discvering wild raspberries and blackberries growing in my neighborhood. Those things ain't cheap in the store= score!
-"Rolling In The Deep" by Adele
-Headphones while working out in case the creepy man wants to try and talk your ear off.
-Birthday Fiestas
-Maxi dresses, rompers, and new flip flops!!
-Sunglasses
-The beach. D.U.H.
-Did I mention summer hours at work?!
-Feeling like blogging again:)

Rain, Rain Go Away

2011-02-05T12:36:00.002-05:00

After about 4 days of non-stop rain and gloom, I'm thankful for the following things:
-My new fave boyfriend-style sweat pants from Victoria's Secret
-Haitian Coffee from Mom
-Movie night w/ Tracy
-Cozy blanket time with my lil Pig
-Whale covered rain boots
-No place to go, but my couch on a Saturday afternoon
-Listening to the rain while you sleep
-Fun Super Bowl plans to look forward to
-Making homemade soups for Sunday
-A big, fat excuse to be LAZY!!!

A Girl, A Gym, and A Mission

2011-02-03T11:28:00.002-05:00

It's no surprise to many that I do not work out, nor do I do anything that slighting resembles working out. I do not hide it, but I am not proud of it either. Laziness is just so much more comfy to me than activity as it relates to weights, treadmills, etc... Watching TV at night is like changing into sweatpants after being in stuffy dress pants (aka, the gym) after a long day. And you better believe that I'll chose the sweatpants every single time. It's just who I am, sadly.

All of the above being said, I'm tired of always choosing the sweats. Seriously, I'm 32 and in good health and naturally slim (by the grace of God), but there is nothing tone about this chica, and that I can no longer live with. So, what to do about it? Put on my big girl pants and march myself to the gym. Which I did for the first time last night. Literally. I literally walked to the gym and back. Did you actually just hear the angels singing and the seas parting? I did.

When my roommate asked "do you want to just walk to the gym for our workout?" I almost laughed, shouted "are you nuts", and opened a bag of chips. But instead I said "okay". Ladies and gents, I WALKED to the gym. In the dark mind you. Then I worked out for about 30 min, and walked back. What, what! Bring it, folks who drove the gym!

Am I sore today? No. Does that scare me for what may hit tomorrow? Dear Lord, yes. But I survived and feel really great about myself. Granted I did trip in a hole, thanks to walking along the shoulder of a 1.5 mile road in the dark with cars flying by, and I also walked into a bush and caught my hand on a splinter bush, but I did it.

So here's to this girl, a gym, and a mission to tone and trade in the sweats. Or at least trade them in until after I work out after work. Let's not get all crazy here.

40 Day Blogging Challenge

2011-02-02T08:42:00.003-05:00

After being way too slack with my posts, I've decided to take a 40 day blogging challenge to help get myself back into the habit of writing.

Here goes nothing!

Memorable Scenes

2011-01-17T23:52:00.002-05:00

For Christmas I asked for the book A Millions Miles In A Thousand Years, which I so thankfully received. I love the author, Donald Miller, but honestly had no idea what the book was about until I cracked open the first page. To say that I love this book would be true, but to say I've been challenged and energized by this book would be a better statement. Million Miles is simply a book about creating and writing a story. It seems redundant to read a story about writing a story, but somehow he makes it work, and challenges me to not just write stories in my head, but to live them out loud. In real time.

Tonight's read was about how every great story has a memorable scene. The pivotal scene in a movie does not usually happen in a Starbucks, nor does it happen in some one's living room. It happens on a mountain top. Or at the foot of the ocean. As I read this my mind quickly started drifting to a few of my memorable scenes and I was suddenly right back there, in those places, in those moments, reliving greatness:

~On the ice in 1997, in a white and gold costume, landing my second double-double combination in front of friends and family, and feeling the realization that I would pass my senior freestyle, figure skating test before I officially hung up my skates for college. 13 years of training, early mornings, 6 days a week was worth it only 45 seconds into my program.
~Running across the sand with friends as we experienced Folly Beach for the first time. Leaving that same sand only 13 days later, I walked to the car knowing I had found my second home and that I would return. Little did I know I'd spend 13 years there and counting.
~Falling head first out of an airplane after one of my best friends lost her boyfriend so that she could release his ashes from 13,000 feet. Seeing the earth below me once my shoot opened, and gliding across the sky in complete and utter silence would give me the courage and knowledge that I could do anything if given the opportunity and the will. We are greater than our fears.
~Driving away from a church, on a dirt road in Nicaragua, after saying goodbye at the first clinic I had ever served in, knowing I would never see the faces again that I had just fallen in love with. Painful and beautiful all at the same time.
~Riding a jet-ski off of the Gulf of Mexico out into literally the deep blue sea until land was just a speck. Having the guide dive down and bring up a starfish for me to hold was like someone bringing up a handful of gold.

I don't know what my future holds, but I do know that I don't plan on waiting around in coffee shops and my living room for greatness to take place. Mountain tops, oceans, and dirt roads, here I come.

What I Learned In My 31st Year.

2011-01-13T12:47:00.002-05:00

Your thirties are still better than your 20's. Anything is possible. Curve balls multiply. The more you can handle, the more people throw your way. Change is inevitable, unless it pertains my trusty nokia flip phone from 2002. I do not want an iPhone. I am the ONLY person who does not want an iPhone. I like apple Saki, who knew? Africa is not in my future for 2011 as I planned in 2010. Nicaragua is still very present, and Africa will wait until the Lord calls me there Himself. Fear can have the biggest foothold in your life. Risks are scary. Not taking risks is just as scary. Love hurts. Sandra Bullock rocks. I can handle living with 3 girls and 6 animals for one week in my humble townhouse if needed to help a friend. Best friends sometimes move home(YAY). The Bachelor is an addiction, regardless of whether or not I can stand the man they chose. Cooking is therapeutic. I am a slight hoarder. I miss my family. I love snow. Ice can shut down a city. Prom dresses can change lives. I still need to start working out. Falling down can hurt long after your pride heals. You can accomplish great things if you stop listening to the "you can't do it voices" in your own head and listen to the encouraging words of others. Any movie with Leonardo DiCaprio in 2010 was awful. I cry at the drop off a hat when happy, sad, angry, etc... I will not watch another Paranormal Activity movie. My mom will try and sucker me in to every Paranormal Activity movie. Mom usually wins. Darn it. I have amazing people in my life. I have more than I deserve. I am committed to making my 32nd year the best it can be.

My Christmas Break Highlight...

2011-01-04T14:28:00.004-05:00

...well, one of my many highlights, but the true topper was serving at the Rockford Rescue Mission with my mom. I've done my fair share of community outreach projects over the years, but this past week's event was by far one of the coolest thing I have done. Ever.

When I arrived home, my mom invited to serve lunch with her and her mission trip teammates at the local rescue mission. Seeing as though I had nothing planned and with the event still allotting ample time for me to sleep in, I thought "why not". Not exactly selfless, but at least I agreed based on my wide open calendar. So off we went in the snow and cold to serve what I thought would be your average soup kitchen lunch. Boy was I wrong.

In we walked to a Christmas wonderland, where every table had fresh flowers, hand decorated place mats, goodie bags with snacks and candy, and Christmas trees and decor galore. These people were doing it up right! We quickly learned that this would be one of only 2 seated and served meals these people will get throughout the year. They would come in, find a seat and be served by yours truly. I was quickly humbled by the fact that we really were going to be "serving" these folks their one, hot Christmas meal. No soup and stale bread would ensue, but hot and fresh ham, potatoes, green bean casseroles, etc...

While we began to serve up the plates (I was graced with the duty of potato scooper), we watched as members of their women's recovery program preformed a Christmas dance routine in white robes. The song they chose was about trials and struggles, but that the Lord was with you through it all. As they danced to the words, people slowly started standing up one by one in the crowd and clapping and shouting praises to the Lord. It broke my heart and warmed it at the same time that these people who literally have nothing but what they carry in a duffel bag, could still shout praises to their God. I knew in that second that I know nothing of struggles. Not a thing.

After the meal concluded, we were blessed to be able to give gifts to each attendee before they headed back out into the balmy temps of an Illinois winter. A Bible, new gloves, new socks, and a scarf were given to each person as they left. Being the resident scarf passer-outer, I was able to give them some warmth as they thanked us and wished us a Merry Christmas. Insert humbled heart once again. One of the younger men stopped and chatted for a moment and I asked where he was from. He said "he moved here from NY a few years ago" and I couldn't help but wonder if he chased a dream here only to be cold, alone and homeless a few years later. I know they all have stories, as we all do, but I wish I had had the time to learn more of them.

Last but not least, after we were all done and our aprons were in the trash, the rescue mission staff sat us down and fed us lunch. It was so unnecessary, but so cool to be eating exactly what they had eaten and only after making sure they were served first. With hearts and bellies full we all bundled back up to the brave the streets. Or at least from the mission to our cars. Humbled once again as we drove away, heat blasting, my mind wandered as we passed our diners gathered along the street corners and the bus station. Now what do they do, I thought quietly.

It's only January 4th, but I'm already looking forward to serving that meal again next year. Granted it was hot and sweaty, my wrist hurt from scooping so quickly, and we smelled a bit like ham the rest of the day, but wearing a hair net in a cafeteria line has never felt so good. I'm so thankful for the lives we encountered, the mouths we fed, and the necks we warmed. I'm praying their still a little bit toastier somewhere in Rockford.

A Little Christmas Cheer

2010-12-16T15:52:00.002-05:00

Why I Could Never Be a Consultant

2010-11-09T17:18:00.008-05:00

I'm slowly realizing that I am not one of those people who loves to travel. With that realization comes the knowledge that I can confidently scratch "work as a consultant" off of my "I wonder if I'd be good at ______" list. It's really no skin off my back, but I do wish that I loved being a jet setter a bit more than I do to simply make traveling something of excitement and not of labor.

If you're anything like me, your travel begins with a list of what you need and what you might need. Why does my might list always weigh 20 lbs more than my need list? Do I really need 12 outfit options for a 4 day trip? Probably not. 5 pairs of shoes for a long weekend? Survey says...nope. Do I really need a sleeping mask, sleepy time pills and a travel size fan just in case I cannot sleep while in the hotel? Still guessing no, BUT what if I get there, I need them, and I left them at home? The sheer possibility of these questions and mights is why my suitcase weighs more than someone who is trying to smuggle a small child into the country (which by the way, I am not, if you are airport security and read this post. Thanks).

So now that I've conquered packing, it's on to the airport. Although I wish I was the type of person who can pull up a stool in an airport restaurant or grab a beverage at Harry Carey's while waiting for my flight. Again, sadly, it's a no go for this gal. I'm more of the grab a burger and fries at McD's and anxiously await any flight announcements at the gate. Even if the lay-over is 2.5 hours, you'll definitely find me holding down the fort at gate E15. Alone and sans frothy beverage in the off chance that somehow my gate has changed, I've been bumped from the flight due to my heavy bag, etc...

Lastly, I can tell that I am no jet setter based on my traveling attire. Again, I wish I was a fashionable frequent flier who loved to rock boots, belts, and blazers in order to look my very best while flying, but again, it's a no go. I don't want to have to be the women frantically running from concourse 1 to 2 in 3 inch heels, nor do I want to disrobe before entering the security line. Flats, no belt, etc...is how this chick rolls her suitcase to and fro. Thank God I am not a celebrity or I'd forever be the slouchy celeb wearing jeans, flops and a v-neck T in LAX via US Weekly.

Maybe my 2011 resolution should be to work on my traveling techniques and jet setter attitude. If not, I'll see you at gate E15 in '11 with my burger. Text me if you want me to grab you one too;)

Keeping Me Going

2010-09-07T16:52:00.003-04:00

Chris Tomlin's new song "Our God" is helping to keep my head up, my eyes forward, and my heart hopeful today when I'm not feeling so great.

Give it a whirl, it just might lift your spirits too. And go ahead, crank up the volume. You know yo want too.

Things I Was Glad to Come Home to After Nicaragua!

2010-09-02T12:14:00.003-04:00

Drinkable tap water

Not having to take bottled water into the bathroom to brush my teeth

Less heat and humidity. Geez, I forget how hot it is there!!! We ain't seen nothing, Charleston!

No gallo pinto for 365 days (no more rice and beans, por favor)!

My dog.

My bed and my duvet! Sleeping with: 1) bugs in your bed on the last 2 nights= not cool. 2) sleeping with only a paper thin sheet while a fan blows on you= Brrrrr. Even in 90 degree temps it's chilly.

Sharing stories with my family and those that ask.

Clean, dry clothes.

The luxuries of paved roads, houses not made out of tin and dirt floors, etc...that I tend to take for granted.

Things That I Was Not Excited to Come Back to:

Having to wear make-up.

Having to do my hair.

Having to pick out clothes every day.

Everyday tasks that I have to do, but that don't contribute anything to my life.

The readjustment phase. I hoped it got easier each time. I'm learning that is just not so.

Figuring out how to hold close everything I learned there, and not let the faces and names drift away.

Being away from that beautiful country and those beautiful people for 365 days.

Leaving behind Pio Quinto! A dessert that I am convinced the Lord himself created for our pleasure!

Work Jams

2010-08-16T17:14:00.000-04:00

Do these songs make anyone else work harder while sitting in a cubicle, office, etc…?

Love the Way You Lie- Eminem ft. Rihanna
Not Ready to Make Nice- Dixie Chicks
Pretty much any and all 3 Doors Down songs, but these are my fave work jams:
o Duck and Run
o It’s Not My Time
o Right Where I Belong
o Behind Those Eyes
Shiny Toy Guns- Major Tom
Bang The Drum All Day- Todd Rundgren
Bad Day- Daniel Powter
Gunpowder and Lead- Miranda Lambert
Day N Nite- Kid Cudi

What songs do you crank up to crank out some good, cubicle productivity?

Pull Up Some Couch- A TV Critique w/ Britt

2010-08-10T17:21:00.002-04:00

Show: The Bachelor Pad
Time: Mondays at 8pm
Setting of Critique: My couch, Merlot and Skinny Cow Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream in hand, sweat pants welcome.

Let me just start by giving ABC a big standing ovation for giving all of us Bachelor addicts a fix immediately after Ali's season ended! How merciful you are, Chris Harrison.

In my humble opinion, The Bachelor Pad, quite possibly could surpass both of it's predecessors. Who doesn't love watching some of the same old crazies wave their crazy flag loudly and proudly, yet again? Didn't they learn anything the first go round?! Thankfully for us, they apparently did not and must not have parents to yank a not in their chain and tell them to wear underwear the second time around on national television. Bad for them, quite entertaining for those of us at home. Plus, upping the anty with ridiculous competitions and a cash prize of $250K...could this get any better? Cast get ready cuz I'm pretty certain there's a bus in your near future and a lot of folks are about to be thrown under it!

I think the best part of the 2 hour premier was watching characters that we "thought" we knew and loved start to show their true colors. Would I have swooned for Tool bag Jesse K had he declared his middle name was "lie and deceive" on his season with Jillian? Um, that'd be a no. Would I have fallen in love with Tenly had she acted like a 5 year old on the first day of big kid school on Jake's season? Again, no thank you. This show will surely bring light to the fact that no one is perfect (well, maybe Kypton still is) and no matter how well you can hide it for awhile, eventually it's gonna come out and it ain't gonna be purty!

So sit back, grab your sweats and a glass of wine, and pull up some couch. We're on the verge of one brilliant, train wreck of a show and I couldn't be more excited!

If Budweiser Made a Commercial About My Office

2010-08-05T14:07:00.003-04:00

"Today we support you, Mrs. Office Break Room Interior Designer. Without your commitment to "improving" our lunch room atmosphere, we might still be sitting in that tiny room on lower, more comfortable chairs that made a lot less noise when you sat down. Whether it's the painting you pulled out of your yard sale pile, or the new baking tower with zero storage, we tip our hats and staplers to you for taking an ugly room and making it hideous. Should you rest and stop ordering non-matching and impractical furniture and actually do your job? No way. Somewhere there's gotta be just one more cabinet that you could squeeze into that 9 by 9 room. We know you won't stop until none of us can fit in there and we all have to eat in the library where our coworkers knit. So keep spending our money and pushing us further into the lobby and we'll keep raising our glass to you, Mrs. Office Break Room Interior Designer!"

My Mom is Tougher than Your Mom

2010-08-04T14:12:00.003-04:00

I've always thought my mom was awesome, but now I have pictures and documentation to back up my thoughts. After waking at 4am, riding a bus to the first of 4 planes they'd take to Chicago, and ending her journey on one more bus to our hometown, my mom is safely back from Haiti this week. Changed, I'm sure. But safely back at home tired, overwhelmed, and dirty.

If you've read my blog in the past, you most likely know that I wanted to go to Haiti but was not able to make it on a team. I was disappointed, but have been able to share in the journeys of Rob and now my mom which has been awesome to experience the country through their eyes, camera lens, and hearts. They are both tough cookies for traveling to the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, especially after a horrific natural disaster, but my mom definitely impressed me along her journey.

In short, mom's journey included: an 8 hour bus ride on a tap tap with no AC, horrible roads, and a flooded river that needed to be crossed by bus, she slept on concrete in a tent on the roof of a building for safety, used showers that I wouldn't even want Wrigley to shower in, helped build a playground, a boat, and a market place, helped pass out 3,000 pairs of shoes, and last but not least taught a few Haitian children the Cupid Shuffle. Any woman who's willing to sleep on a concrete rooftop and not have access to a mirror for 7 days is a rock star in my book. And I'm so proud to call that rock star, Mom. Keep rocking out for the well being of others, Mom. I think you're one bad Mama-Jama!

PS...My Dad rocks, too! Stay tuned for his story...

Proof that God Loves Us...

2010-07-12T16:25:00.003-04:00

...and wanted to knock our socks off every once in awhile.

There are certain things and times when I am brought to a screeching halt by either beauty or sheer amazement, and since I am in a list making mood lately I felt like sharing them today:

Lightning Bugs. Seriously?! They are so pretty and show you that sometimes God had "oh yeah, and you thought that was cool? Watch this..." moments. Love em!

Cotton Candy Sunsets. How can you not look at those pale pink, purple and orange swirls and not believe that someone so creative and loving made them and us?

Mountains. He didn't have to make the peaks and the valleys but He did and they are breathtaking.

The Ocean. How can something so powerful, raging, and larger and farther than the eye can see be so calming and soothing at the same time.

Laughing til it hurts and you can't breathe. Nothing has ever felt better.

Ultrasounds and seeing someone's face for the very first time.

McGriddles. Straight from the Lord himself.

Guilty Pleasures

2010-07-09T10:45:00.004-04:00

I don't have many vices in this life. I don't smoke, don't do drugs (Just say NO!), only drink on occassion, am not a work-out junkie like some folks, etc... BUT, I do have guilty pleasures that I'm beginning to think are becoming vices, God bless em.

How would I ever get through the day without:

The Real Housewives of New York reruns
My afternoon coke or Mr. Pibb; can=guilty pleasure, fountain drink=full on vice, Y'all
These kettle chips. My breathe is shot for the rest of the night but I am fine with that, sadly.
Milk
Wrigley's afterwork cuddle sessions
Driving my arm out of the window at night during the summer. This makes me very happy.
Zac Brown Tunes
Playlist.com
Campagne simply because you need a little bubbly
So You Think You Can Dance's Kent and Lauren. Love. These. Teens.

Thrifty and Lovin It!

2010-06-17T15:49:00.006-04:00

Recently one of my adorable friends (check her out at Jen), shared with me her shopping secrets. Wait for it, wait for it...Thrift Stores. At first I doubted her honesty since the girl always looks like a million bucks wrapped in stilettos, but after much probing and questioning, I believed her. Not only did I believe her, but I wanted to know exactly which ones she frequents because the ones that I have been to are garbage and quite frankly scary. I don't know if she wanted to share her 2 secret thrifty mother loads with me, but being the sweet girl she is, she caved.

After chatting about it for awhile we finally embarked on our first thrift store tutorial field trip one Saturday morning. Armed with my coffee to go, I loaded up into her SUV with 2 other proteges for our first lesson in shopping from other peoples' closets. It really was quite funny to see the 3 of us grown women following our fearless leader into the store and then circling up to hear our game plan. First we'd quickly move through the shoes, but in all honesty, who wants to wear used shoes? Then we would head to the blouses and tops and quickly spread out. The key is in the fabrics apparently. You cannot look through every item unless you have absolutely no plans the entire weekend, so scanning for quality fabric is a must. I soon learned to not stick to just my size, my sizes could be lost in the M or L section, plus you never know what gems you might find for someone else or to turn a profit on eBay.

After about 2.5 hours we piled back in the SUV to head home, bags in hand (actually in the trunk and man it was full), and wallets still intact. I think I walked away with 30 new pieces, jewelry and 1 handbag included, and spent a grand total of $45. Let me tell you, this girl is not only a believer now but an addict. I've always loved the hunt so this is a match made in shopper's heaven. Give it a try. There are some pretty awesome things waiting to find a happy home at rock bottom prices if you aren't too proud. And if you are too proud, no worries. More for me!

My favorite finds in the last month:
- Elie Tahari jacket $3.99 (found it online retailing for $285.00)
- French Connection linen pants $2.99
- Theory khaki skirt $1.50
- Brand new Miss Sixty shirt $1.99
- Sevens $3.99
- Adorable Molly B skirt $2.99
- Seersucker, silk lined 2 piece suit for work $4.99
- Brand new, with tags 3/4 length sleeve blazer that I loved at Steinmart for $2.99 (tags still on read $64.99)
- 2 vintage necklaces $7.99 total
- Ben Silver tie for Rob $1.99 (retails at $120.00)

10 Things I Learned on My Summer Concert Tour

2010-06-09T09:48:00.002-04:00

This past weekend I embarked on my summer concert tour, aka...I went to two concerts in two days, and felt like I learned a few things along the way. Here we go:
10. 2 awesome shows in a 24 hour span kicks my tail. I do not bounce back like I used too.
9. Last weekend was about as Rock Star as I get. Sadly, I am okay with that.
8. The restrooms at the DI Tennis Center feel like saunas in June. Port-o-potties are the way to go. I'd rather feel creeped out than have my make-up sliding down my face before the show even starts.
7. Concert vendors sell gianormous beers but teeny, tiny bottles of water. It's June, it's 90 degrees, we're in the sun. Please do not sell me Polly Pocket size Aquafinas or it's gonna get ugly.
6. Rock reaches all ages and seems to be a universal language for all demographics which makes for amazing people watching.
5. The light show at a Daughtry concert can cause you to go into a seizure. True story. Not mine but a pretty blonde lady's.
4. Zac Brown makes me happy and the lead singer of Lifehouse makes me swoon. Both men= worth every penny.
3. I heart concerts.
2. Who knew the dramatic dropping of a huge white sheet could make me jump up and down like a little kid? That 1.5 minutes as the show started was like Christmas morning on crack.
1. Don't let the bow on my dress fool you. I can rock out with the best of em!

What Love looks Like

2010-06-03T10:18:00.002-04:00

An exhausted new mom who's first child has health issues that would wear out even the most veteran of mothers and turn them into an emotional and physical wreck, yet she stays strong, never complains, and works day and night to care for her precious gift.
Someone I see once every two years requesting my support letter for Nicaragua when I assumed I couldn't ask them to donate a 3rd year in a row. That email melted my heart and showed me that even my supporters have grown fond of serving the people of Managua.
Friends listening with tears rolling down their face as another friend describes the loss of a loved one recently. When no one cries alone in a room or on the beach, you know love is there.
A group of women taking the time to write get well cards to people they've never met just to let them know someone is praying for them. Miles away.
A work-a-holic setting his work schedule aside to board a plane to Haiti this weekend to lend his hands and heart and hopefully help in the rebuilding process. I am guessing both parties will be "rebuilt".
Someone paying for the tux of a special needs child they've never met before so he can go to "Prom" and have a night to remember as every teenager should.
That same teenager purchasing a jewelry box and card letting the woman who covered his Prom expenses know that she made a lasting difference.

What does love look like to you?

Can My Civic be a Swaggin Wagon Please?

2010-05-13T12:54:00.001-04:00

These folks kinda make me want to be a mom and drive a mini-van! The kiddos dancing are the best! Enjoy...

My Mother's Day If Pigs Could Fly...

2010-05-10T13:53:00.003-04:00

...or at least if they could talk and drive, I know my favorite little Piggy would have driven to Target this weekend to pick out the sweetest card and mom's favorite treats: nerd ropes, peanut butter m&m's, and a fountain coke. Then, based on his sweet nature, I'm guessing he'd go to the store for momma's favorite flowers, Gerber Daisies. He probably would've gotten up super early, gone out to the kitchen and made my favorite vanilla and cinnamon french toast, bacon, and coffee. And then he'd probably ask me if I wanted to be cuddled, loved on, had my belly scratched, while we watched a Lifetime movie or two on the couch.

To save him the trip to store and the hassle, I made his favorite breakfast, which also happens to be his favorite dinner, made my own coffee and grabbed a day old Krispy Kreme. We then had a cuddle fest on the couch, while I loved on him and scratched his belly until it was time to go to church. For a brief moment he looked up at me with his sweet puppy eyes and I knew that without words he was saying "Momma, I'd do all of those things for you if I could." And with that one look, I had the best doggie Mother's Day ever. I love that lil man!

The Same

2010-05-07T11:55:00.002-04:00

I am tired of putting on the same ole outfits, of getting into the same ole car that has chosen not to unlock anymore and then climbing through the same ole trunk when I forget the above mentioned locks don't work. I'm tired of looking the same when I try to vary my make-up pallet, and am definitely tired of the same ole frizzy, southern weather hatin hair. I'm tired of not feeling very creative when I want to be and am tired of cooking the same ole meals due to lack of time or energy. I'm tired of looking at my same ole windows in my bedroom that are desperately seeking curtains that I cannot seem to commit too.

However.

I'm loving the same ole beach that I've been blessed enough to live near for the last 13 years. I'm loving that my same ole friends from 6 and 7 years ago are still my friends regardless of ups and downs, boy drama, and distance. I'm loving that a margarita here can instantly make me appreciate the same ole sun, summer, and citrus as I do while traveling. I'm loving that the same ole calls home to chat with my folks can make me just as happy as they did when I first left home in 1997. I'm excited that the same ole sport that I gave much of my life too for 13 years is starting to creep back into the void it left when I hung up my skates. I'm loving that although my car doesn't unlock, I can still get in the same ole thing with the windows down, the music up, and somehow forget how ghetto it's become over the years. I'm loving that this same ole blog still gives me a creative outlet when nothing else seems too.

I'm Not So Bad After All!

2010-05-03T16:06:00.003-04:00

So my boyfriend's roommate is obsessed with Crossfit. I should verify that his obsession is one of healthy nature and not crazy "I must crossfit or die" nature, but obsessed nonetheless. He's 110% drinking the Kool-aid and lovin it! I, on the other hand, am a former athlete and a PE major who couldn't care less about working out. I wish I loved it and craved it like he does, but it just doesn't work like that for me. In order for me to run it has to be raining while i'm leaving a dry building or there must be free baked goods in the breakroom of my office. Even at that point I'll usually weigh the pros and cons and gauge how hard it's actually raining before I commit to the jog. It's sad. I'm not proud. But I am honest.

Ok, back to CF. So my boyfriend's roomie hosted a crossfit crew pool party. YIKES! In a bathing suit, surrounded by hard core, Paleo dieting bodies was the last place I wanted to be. So what did I do? I skipped out and went to eat french toast and get my toes done instead. So yummy and way better for my self-esteem. After delaying the inevitable I decided to head to the pool party, although in a maxi dress and not a swimming suit, to be social and support his new "club" if you will. I was all ready to either stay in my dress or sport a full body wet suit due to the "pool water not being summer ready" yet, when it hit me. Most of these "fitters" didn't look any different than I did. Some even had (wait for it, wait for it) beer bellies. YES! I am not so bad after all! Don't get me wrong, some of the guys looked like UFC fighters and a few looked like IOP lifeguards but almost all of the girls looked like me and they work out almost every day and eat nuts and berries and junk. Kool-aid? No thank you. A hot dog off the grill? Yes please. Got any chili?

Moment of Schizophrenia

2010-04-05T12:54:00.003-04:00

What in the world?" "Seriously?" "Gross!" "Disgusting!" Ewww, don't touch that..."

Now say all of those words/statements 5 times fast while spinning in a circle and that my friends is what the kiddy land of the Cajun Festival at James Island County Park felt like. Parental Schizophrenia…no thanks!

After perusing the food area of the event, my boyfriend and I decided to wander into the back corner of the vevnue that housed carnival rides and children’s games to people watch for a bit. Wow. It only took 2 seconds to realize why this area was set WAY far away from every other component of the festivities. That place was like walking into Jamie Fox’s head during the movie The Soloist.

Take 150 kids, put them in one area with spinning rides after they’ve just chugged a coke, eaten cotton candy, etc… As Rob and I stood in the “safe” spot we found between the giant slide and the blow-up obstacle course, I watched in amazement. Grown adults chased their kids around like they were trying to catch the greased pig at a county fair. Kids bobbed and weaved in every direction. Take one small step and you just might crush someone or better yet, have one of them slam into your legs with sticky, cotton candy faces and muddy hands. From every direction came parental chatter, commands, defeat, and sometimes surrender. “Say excuse me, Tommy. SAY EXCUSE ME!!!” was heard non-stop as kids pushed their way from ride to ride. My final straw was watching little brown shirt dude repeatedly shove his finger in his nose (the rest I will leave up to the imagination) while his mom protested loudly over and over again. Finally she gave up and I started dry heaving. I couldn't do it anymore. Too. Much. Comotion. And way too many boogers in a small area. Once the gagging began we decided to head back to the promise land where music, fried food, and shirtless Cajuns calmed my nerves.

Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. Love 'em! I still love to babysit at 31 years old. But 150 muddy children pushing, shoving, and picking at one time and in every direction. There’s just not enough Xanax for that. To all my parent-friends out there…You rock. You’re seriously my heroes. And I raise my glass to you from about 100 yards away from the kiddy land next time!

Waiting...

2010-03-31T11:32:00.003-04:00

Moments after news broke of the earthquake in Haiti I knew I wanted to go and serve. It was neat to see my awesome friend, Amy, felt the exact same and text me to and say "when they send teams from Seacoast to Haiti, want to go?" It was on our hearts, as it was for so many, but we knew that we had to be patient. This past Saturday our Missions Pastor alerted via Facebook that they'd be announcing 4 trips to Haiti at Sunday's service. One status update completely made my heart race. Was it time? Am I ready???

Last night as I sat in a room of 60+ people from my church who signed up to go with a moment's notice, I couldn't help but fight back tears. There are only 40 spots right now, as teams must stay at 10 people each due to travel logistics, so if you do the math there will be a good chunk of us who will not go. YET. Regardless of whether or not I "make the cut" this go round, I was privileged to sit in a room surrounded by people who embody my favorite verse "Here am I. Send me." Isiah 6:8. We may not have thousands of dollars to send over there but what we do have is time to give and hands to lend. Not only do these people care about the well being of people they've never met and will most likely never see again, but they are willing to put their lives on hold with literally a month to prepare, distance themselves from every comfort they have and loved one they have to serve strangers. Very cool and very inspiring.

As I wait to find out this weekend whether or not it's my time to go, I'm trying to really wrap my brain around what it'll mean, what it'll entail, and what exactly I will see. Not praying about this is not an option. Actually it's the only option I have right now. Here am I. Will you send me?

Until then...here's a little info about the area where the medical team might be stationed accordingly to the team leader (again, insert many, many prayers here):

Cité Soleil (Kreyol: Site Solèy, English: Sun City) is a very densely populated commune located in the Port-au-Prince metropolitan area in Haiti. It has development as a shanty town. Most of its estimated 200,000 to 300,000 residents live in extreme poverty.[1] The area is generally regarded as one of the poorest and most dangerous areas of the Western Hemisphere's poorest country; it is one of the biggest slums in the Northern Hemisphere. There is little police presence, no sewers, no stores, and little to no electricity. *the picture at the top is a survivor of this city.

The Fanny Pack

2010-03-26T16:00:00.003-04:00

So last week I had to run to the campus gift shop to purchase gifts for our presenters at a conference we were hosting. Apparently with it being Corps Day weekend, every shopper received a free fanny pack. Oh. Wow. Really? You shouldn't have.

As I left (sans free fanny pack) the lady by the door wanted to make sure that I had in fact received my free gift of said fanny pack. I had not and was 110% fine without my gift. Regardless of my gratefulness and "please give mine to someone who is visiting and not an employee" attitude, she was dead set on my leaving with a Citadel blue fanny pack. Now what on earth am I going to do with a fanny pack?? Especially one that says Citadel Bulldogs? Duh. I'm going to rock that thing!

Today seemed like a great day to sport it around the office to pick my spirits up, so rock it I did. Sort of. I noticed that there was no clasp in the back for easy access and there was definitely no adjustable strap either. Did they expect this to be one size fits all AND do they expect the wearers to step into and out of it every time they wanted to wear it? Hello, awkward. No wonder this thing was free! Someone must have gotten a sweet deal on these defunct things.

After shimmying the fanny pack up my legs and over my hips, I was now ready to wear my Bulldog gear with pride. Or at least I was until my coworker nonchalantly asked if I was wearing a lunch bag around my waist. "What? How stupid would that be" I thought to myself until everything I had just done to get the lame thing on flashed through my head. OMG, I am wearing a non-adjustable lunch bag around my waist. How did this happen?

Thanks Citadel gift shop for my new and way more cooler than a fanny pack lunch tote. I will, in fact, rock this tote sandwich and all. Although I might just slide it over my shoulder next time and not my hips.

Too Quiet, Too Busy

2010-02-26T16:59:00.002-05:00

It's been WAY too long since I spent some time on this blog. So, here I am and I'm bringing the polka dots back with me.

The past month has flown by and I'm not even sure where it went. Actually, that's a total lie. I know exactly where it went and it went with good cause, but it still went flying on by. With only 8 days left until the 2010 Cinderella Day, I'm finally feeling like I can come up for air and take a non-event, creative break. Praise the Lord for the way He sets things up and allows them to fall into place.

That being said, that's about all the creativity I have in me today. Just wanted to say hey and try to get back in the swing of things in blog world. Chat with you soon!

What I Learned While 30...

2010-01-15T14:12:00.000-05:00

Life can change in a moment’s notice. 30 was a way easier year for me than 29. Thank God for employment! Proms are still fun at 30 years old. Getting to be on 2 prom courts in one lifetime is pretty fun. Owning a home is an on going project…year 2 in my new home and I still need to hang curtains and paint a few rooms. I love having my little brother back in the states. I hate it when he returns to China. Miracles still happen daily ~Matt Honson. I am stronger than I think I am when I really dig down deep. The magic of your first mission trip is different than the realness of your second. Some people will surprise you with their generosity. Some people will shock you with their cruelness. I continue to love my dog deeper on a daily basis, even when I thought I couldn’t love him more. Watching a friend go through a miscarriage is way more painful than they depict in movies/TV. Watching your friends have their first baby is one of the most beautiful moments. I still love birthdays and want to celebrate Birthday Eves with my children when I one day have them. I miss my family a little more with every year that I am here and they are there. I am still addicted to Law & Order SVU after 3 years and am confident that Benson and Stabler and I would make awesome friends. Guns scare me. I mean they really scare me. A fountain coke can make any day better. Snorkeling is not for me. Playing in the snow is as fun now as it was as a child. Trying to sled on a Frisbee does not work. AND the first days a 31 year old doesn’t sting as badly as I thought.

Sianaro 2009!

2010-01-04T12:36:00.001-05:00

As I look ahead at the potential greatness that 2010 may hold, I want to take a day or two to reflect on the things that I’d LOVE to see happen as we move ahead. HOWEVER, before I do I’d like to take a look at a few things I’d love to NOT SEE again in 2010 as well.

Here we go…2009 can kindly keep in it’s grasp:

• The increasing number of gray hairs that have started to surface. Thank you very much.
• The Jersey Shore series.
• Any more iconic changes that stop me in my tracks. Note: Michael Jackson’s death, The Gosselin split, and Oprah’s retirement. Please Oprah, you’re young, there’s still time to retire at a later date. Preferably 2034.
• The inclusion of water chestnuts in every Chinese dish I order.
• Taking things too personally. *Refer back to 2007’s resolution “act like a duck and let things roll off your feathers.”
• Libby’s pumpkin shortages. No pumpkin bread?? What a scare for awhile!
• The Bachelor being a tool. I still have faith in you ABC, don’t disappoint.
• Unexpected deaths that rock the people I love worlds’. 2009 was a sad one for sure.
• Economic worries, woes, and effects. My poor, naked Christmas tree (in SC) looked like a Toys for Tots commercial.
• High profile men who have the world at their grasp yet cheat on their wife and kids. You guys are not giving me much to hope for, jerks.
• My lack of motivation for the gym.
• Sharks. (A girl can dream, right?!)

The Irony of My Great Uncle Maury this Christmas

2009-12-21T15:47:00.001-05:00

Maury passed away this past weekend and although hospice had already been on site for a while, I still cannot imagine what his wife, Judy, and his children must be feeling so close to Christmas. Christmas is a time to celebrate and be with family. To reminisce of holidays past, over eat, and reconnect with those family members who live to far to see any other time of the year. It shouldn’t be a time to say goodbye to loved ones.

For us, Christmas night is usually spent at Maury’s over dinner and conversation. An added bonus has been the home that he and Judy invited us too for the festivities. To say that Maury was an antique collector would be the largest understatement of 2009. Their home is live-in museum. Literally. I wish I had pictures, but his place had an actual old time general store in it where you could spend hours exploring if you wanted. Every room had a theme and could most likely tell many stories without any words spoken. People toured his home with antique groups, but for us it was just tradition to spend Christmas night there taking it all in and singing off-key Christmas carols.

This year with his passing, I can’t help but think that although we won’t be heading to his home for tours and dinner, he will still be the reason that everyone is together on my dad’s side of the family, even if for one day of the year. I wish it were under different circumstances, but I’m still thankful for the chance to be there with everyone and celebrate once more. This time we will celebrate him, Maury Gambrel.

Thank God I Wasn't Born in Jersey!

2009-12-08T23:30:00.003-05:00

Although I'm sure it's a lovely place with many lovely people, the new MTV show "Jersey Shore" has completely ruined that state for me. I knew the overly tan, tight t-shirt and spiked hair was never my thing but those guys and gals completely terrify me. Watching muscle junkies "Fist pumpin like champs" and girls who truly believe they invited the hair poof (and i'm guessing the bump-it as well) is a little too much for this southern transplant to handle.

Granted I've never been there so I could totally be missing out, but the sheer guido-ness of the commercials alone for that show are enough to give me a panic attack. I cannot imagine watching an entire episode of the junk. That'd rate right up there on my fun scale with having to sit through another Widespread Panic concert in my lifetime. No thanks, MTV. That is one reality show you can keep.

Freedom of Speech or Freedom of Idiocy?

2009-12-05T13:14:00.002-05:00

Now I know some people say stupid things and mean nothing by it, often talking just to hear themselves talk, but when what you're saying is completely offensive, it's often best to keep your mouth shut.

As I'm checking out at the grocery store last night, minding my own, I unfortunately became a fly on the wall for the conversation between the cashier and the bagger. They apparently were discussing coupons, freebies, etc... when the cashier (who is usually obnoxious anyway) went off an a tangent. In his usual loud fashion, he began voicing his opinion on how Americans always want something for free and he can't stand it. "Americans need to work for everything they deserve period. Nothing should be free" he stated. At this point I'm thinking nothing of their conversation, other than "I totally wish I had coupons right now to slightly annoy this guy."

A few seconds later the young cashier, who is always friendly and professional (can you tell I visit that BiLo at least 3 times a week) replies "not everyone can work though. What if someone is sick? Or what if it's an American soldier who is now paralyzed after serving his country? What about those incidents?" (Side note, here is when I almost threw my sweet potatoes at said cashier) "Well then we should put them to sleep" confidently and disgustingly replies the cashier. Are you kidding me? Am I on one of those Dateline specials where they see just how much customers will tolerate??? As if this guy hadn't already hit rock bottom in terms of customer service he opens his mouth one more time. Bagger asks "What if this woman's (bagger points to me) husband or family member is paralyzed or injured from battle?" Cashier replies "well then I just invoke my freedom of speech for saying that they should be put down." No apologizes, no remorse, no "I'm a huge idiot", nothing. Just smugness.

I wanted to say something and I should have said something, but I wanted to throw something even more, so I kept my mouth shut until I had calmed down. I drove home in disgust and then decided to call the Manager. I don't like confrontation, but in an effort to shut him up before he does say that to someone who does have a sick or paralyzed loved one, I didn't want to not speak up. He is correct in his right to freedom of speech, but when you are working among customers, that freedom pretty much flies out of the window. You cannot say whatever you feel and if you do, you better make sure you say it in front of a 5'5 female and not someone who will invoke their freedom to punch.

Home Sweet Home

2009-11-30T18:00:00.000-05:00

Ahh, home sweet home for 5 days and now I’m back to the reality of work, housework, etc… For the time being though, while my mind is still somewhat in Rockford with my fam, here are my top ten reasons why I love being home for the holidays:

10. Thanksgiving meals. Yep, that’s right. I said plural meals on Thanksgiving!
9. My parent’s couch is so inviting. Especially with the big fleece blanket and Falalala Lifetime drifting me in and out of dreamland.
8. Eating someone else’s groceries for a change.
7. Decorating the tree, Christmas music, and sparkling cider was a nice little treat.
6. Meeting up with old friends always has a sort of “Cheers” feeling to it. Everyone already knows you, where you came from, and why you are the way you are. There’s something freeing about that. Plus some of your friends just feel like home. Even after all these years.
5. Hugs from family members.
4. Cut throat board games always rock! I love that my family loves to play games.
3. Hanging out with my parents and brother never gets old (unless my brother is a crab).
2. Not having a set schedule is a nice break from my routine. Especially this fall.
1. Knowing that you can, in fact, “go home”. Regardless of what they say.

I Dreamed of Africa

2009-11-23T17:11:00.004-05:00

Have you ever had something stir inside your heart and no matter how many times you try and tuck it away it pops back up in the most unexpected ways? That is pretty much where I am right now. Heart stirring, mind racing, and soul searching. All of those combined usually mean that God is at work, like it or not.

The good news is that at this point, I like it. So, here it is. After 2 trips to Nicaragua, and although I told myself I couldn't do another trip next year as it was too hard thus needing a break, I've started to change my mind. I am pretty sure Africa is calling and I really want to answer her. With that being said, I also know that the scenes from the movie "I Dreamed of Africa" that I love so much, will most likely not be the majority of what I'd experience. On the contrary, where I would be would be cut off from the world, and a very desolate place. Sure the people will be the reason to go and they will be the light there, but I want to be sure my heart is ready. I'm certain that a trip of that magnitude doesn't just fade away after you've been back to the states for a month. Trips like that most likely haunt you for longer than I am used too, as I've heard this will be more challenging than where I've been. People in Nicaragua are malnourished, but the ones I have met or seen are not starving to death, nor are they dying of AIDS, etc... They need medical help, but for the most part they are not terminal patients like they are in Africa.

I am going to keep praying over this stirring for the next 2 months. However, if she keeps calling and God keeps leading, I won't just be dreaming of Africa, I'll be heading there myself.

Living in the New Reality

2009-11-12T12:31:00.001-05:00

In August I had the pleasure of hearing Bill Hybels speak at the 2009 leadership Summit, and even more so the pleasure of experiencing an “ah ha” moment thanks to him. In short he was amazing; along with almost all of the speakers, and his topic made me think the most and for that I am giving him a shout out blog-style.

As we head into another holiday season, many thoughts are running through my head. “How am I going to afford gifts this year?” “How is anyone, especially families with little ones, going to afford gifts this year?” “What do I usually spend money on this time of year that I could save and put into gifts for my family?” And so on, and so on…

As I selfishly try to ponder the financial aspect of the holidays and how they’re going to impact my bank account, Bill’s words keep ringing in my ears, “this is the new reality. Not just a phase”. The light bulb went off in my head as I heard him describe the times that we are facing right now, because up until that point I had the mentality that what we are facing was a phase, a bump in our economic road if you will. The harsh reality is that this phase is not going anywhere anytime soon. And really once it does start to turn around, we’ll all have lived through it and learned to manipulate our lives to survive in it. Is that not a new “reality”?

Knowing what I do, thanks in part to hitting rocky times in ’08 when I was laid off as a new homeowner, I hope to have grown and begun to thrive in our new reality. I’ve learned to look at what I spend and examine what’s really necessary and what I can do without. I’ve learned in my career that some of the things we think we need to do, we do not, and we’ve all learned to do more with less. I’ve seen families enjoy stay-cations without spending thousands of dollars. I’ve seen my friend’s excitement levels increase as they found new ways to have a swanky date night without breaking the bank by uncovering “specials” nights at downtown restaurants, and I myself have enjoyed searching my city for new adventures that I never would’ve known about had I not been thrust into this new reality.

And as I bring my mind back to the holidays, I am going to focus more on where I am and who I am with, and what everything really means during this time of year. Sure the presents are awesome (who doesn’t want a new iPod or sweater), but having to do more with less makes me want to give things that mean something to those I love and not just what’s flashy. And although this new reality hasn’t been the easiest, I am thankful for being forced to slow down, re-examine, adapt, and even thrive at times. I hope I never lose the lessons I am being taught as we head into whatever realities await us.

Saving Money Can be Fun, Who Knew?

2009-11-10T14:39:00.001-05:00

Did you know that trying to not spend money could actually be fun?! Thanks to a few savvy friends and their ideas/new hobbies, my eyes have been opened to a whole new world of saving in our not so ideal economy. If you would’ve told me one month ago that I’d be a coupon clipper I would’ve laughed at you, but now I LOVE it. And I mean, almost in a sad way, love it. I realized last night as I drifted off to sleep counting down the days until the grocery stores unveil their new weekly deals (which comes out every Wednesday) that I am quite possibly a saving junkie. Side note…if you hear me discuss or see me post anything about registering for a coupon workshop, or catch me in a “Couponing is my life t-shirt” please intervene immediately! That would just be disturbing.

Thanks to my Coupon Guru’s instructions, I’ve fallen in love the site www.southernsavers.com. This woman saves me at least $32.00 a grocery trip and at times has helped me save 60% off my grocery bill! Who doesn’t love saving money, especially right now?! Plus it’s almost become a game to see if I can beat the store and save more than I spend. I’ve seriously left stores feeling like I just won the lottery and when everyone is trying to do more with less right now, I’ll take a high like that any day. Look out BiLo, I’ve got some manufacturer’s coupons and I’m not afraid to use ‘em.

Last but not least, is my love for the new found style swap party. One of my friends hosted about 11 of us girls over for wine, cheese, brownies (hello, where do I sign?), and a style exchange night. Each girl brings gently used clothing and accessories that they no longer wear and trades them in for tickets. For example, I brought 32 items and received 32 tickets to “shop” with that evening. After we all perused the “boutique” and wrote down our top pics, we settled in for the swap rounds. Each person drew a number and was able to select their favorite item when their turn came around. This went on for three rounds (numbers were drawn each round to even the playing field), with a final open swap session following where you got to grab anything you loved that was still up for grabs. It was seriously one of the coolest ideas I’ve ever seen. What still had tags but never fit me just right, fit someone next to me like a glove. Why not share that with the girl who can rock it while also getting your hands on some really cute stuff yourself?! Plus if you do it right, like our Diva friend did, you don’t even feel like your swapping but instead feel as though you’re in an intimate little boutique shopping with wine and good friends and everything is FREE. Yet again, hello, where do I sign?

Retail therapy has always been one of my favorite pick me ups but the spend hangover can easily knock you right back down to where you started. Free-tail therapy however is the new black and looks great on everyone. Indulge yourself. You know you want too!

The FAIR is Here!

2009-11-03T16:15:00.002-05:00

As I always do this time of year, here are my top 10 reasons why I am super pumped about going to my happy place in 2 days…aka…the Coastal Carolina Fair:

10. FREE PASSES AND RIDE PASSES! Thank you Mr. Schupp for saving me almost $50!
9. The faint smell of fair food is slowly wafting towards my house, I swear.
8. AC/DC. Enough said.
7. Nothing says “livin on the edge” like having a dirt caked under your finger nails, breath-wrecking of vodka Carnie lock your humble life into a ride that was most likely built in 1976. Oh Dear Lord.
6. Yay for petting zoo’s and baby pigs.
5. The bright lights of the Ladson Fair Grounds just make me smile.
4. Laughing while eating an elephant ear and having powder sugar explode all over your face.
3. Having my stomach drop to my knees on the Giant Drop and the Pirate Ship!!!! (Seriously my heart rate just went up 2 notches simply typing that sentence)
2. Hanging out with friends and realizing that your life is pretty darn fantastic based on the appearances of the average fair go-er. Mean, but so true and you know it.
1. Getting to be a kid again for 3 hours! Smiles from ear to ear, mirrors that make me look like I’m 187lbs and 3 feet tall, and laughing until it hurts.

Oh, Facebook...

2009-10-26T16:47:00.001-04:00

Although Facebook has opened up a world of connections to long lost friends, family members, etc… it has also opened up the opportunity to see into lives that we might not really want to see into but are not stronger enough to look away from.

Exhibit A: I should not be able to see my exes’ wedding photos no matter how long ago we broke up. I am not strong enough to not look and therefore spend 20 minutes critiquing the bride’s dress, flower selection, whether or not he’s gained weight, etc… I definitely have better things to do like change the ink in my pens and count the cracks in my driveway.

Exhibit B: It’s down right depressing seeing how many people I went to high school and college with who are getting divorced already. How does this happen at 28, 29, and 30 year old?! And with the option of “went from being married to single” on FB, it makes it just so simple and final. Now I know there is a lot that leads up to the “single” status change on FB, but for those of us who are not privy to any closeness to said relationship, it almost makes it appear as nonchalant as so and so just “became a fan of Jello Pudding Cups”. So sad and slightly discouraging.

Exhibit C: Farmville updates= annoying. Enough said here.

Oh, Facebook…some days I love to hate you.

Jam Bands...Ugh

2009-10-19T13:20:00.000-04:00

Jam Bands and I are not friends. Don’t get me wrong, I love live music and I often love the songs at the beginning of a jam session, however I DO NOT, and I repeat, do not love to listen to a 20 minute song. It’s all a bit excessive if you ask me. Especially when it’s 50 degrees and raining.

Although this past weekend was nothing compared to my dreaded time at a Widespread Panic concert, I knew I was in trouble when half of the band stopped playing, grabbed a beer and light up their cigarettes. We, along with the rest of the band, proceeded to then watch the 2 musicians jam out for about 15 minutes repeatedly at the end of almost every song. No thank you. Next song please.

When I saw the first hippie twirl ensue, that should’ve been my cue that we were in for a long one.

Goodbye

2009-10-13T16:34:00.000-04:00

So my best friend is moving to DC tomorrow. Decision made, check. Going away parties held, check. Movers on their way to DC with her belongings, check. Final goodbye said to best friend, no. Why? Simply because I don’t want to say it. In my mind, if I put it off then it isn’t really happening until the said goodbye is, well, said I guess.

When I do have moments when I am a bit sad, I hear from myself and those around me “she’ll still be your best friend” or “now you have an excuse to go and visit DC”. I agree with those statements and know all of those things beyond a shadow of a doubt. BUT what I am sad about (and I only let myself be sad when she’s not around because I AM really excited for her and this stage in her life, so please know I am not crying all the time and saying “poor me”) is just simply not having her here. With us. In Charleston.

She and I have always joked that if we weren’t both girls we’d be perfect for each other and make a great married couple. We love almost all of the same things, and the things that I dislike, she usually loves so that when we go out to eat we can trade her onions for my tomatoes, and so on. She’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sister as we’ve not only been friends, but also roommates and lived together thus spending a LOT of time together. All in all, I’m just going to miss her presence, her love for country music and attending countless concerts together, our trips to the Fair together, road trips, shopping with stops for pretzels and fountain cokes, etc…

I guess goodbye is inevitable, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

DietTribe?

2009-10-02T12:19:00.001-04:00

So, I'm seriously considering gaining roughly 150 pounds and asking 4 of my best girlfriends to join me in this binge fest as well, all so that I can be a member of the Diet Tribe on Lifetime. Why on earth would I want to do that you ask?

Insert Exhibit O (O stands for the ONLY exhibit and ONLY reason for said interest in weight gain and working out via DietTribe):

Meet Jessie, the trainer...

I'll take 2 please.

DietTribe, don't mind if I do!

Consider me "Daughtry" because I am definitely over it!

2009-09-30T17:36:00.000-04:00

I try not to use this blog as a ranting forum however it's going to be just that for the next 3 minutes. Over the last few months my life has been in a somewhat controlled (and yet sometimes uncontrolled) disarray. This is why:
1. One of my best friends decided to move to DC. YAY for her (and I say that 110% genuinely because I am so happy for her and want this for her). SAD for me. Where I go, she usually goes and vice versa. Now what? I miss her already.
2. Work has been crazy. Football is upon us which means some weekend duty (not complaining, love my job). Blitzing='s stress. AND my calling staff is about 70% brand new which means lots of learning curves and lots of hands on situations. Again, love what I do but it's been a lot of stuff at once and I hate feeling like I can't be good at anything because I'm just trying to accomplish everything.
3. Home life has been less than ideal. It's no one's fault, it is what it is.
4. Have I mentioned my BF is moving???
5. Lots of my friends are having their first child, announcing their second, or announcing their first. YIKES. I am 30 and no where near that. Am I behind? Duh. Do I need to panic? Not sure.
6. My dog has fleas and not just fleas, but ones of the Gremlin nature. THEY WONT DIE. I don't get it. He's on flea prevention meds, always has been. Yet they are on him in full force. I treated the house relentlessly. And when I bathe him in the flea bath, they multiply! Vets say it's the worst flea season they've seen. Great, no get them out of my house. Now, please.
7. People just blindside me. I never see things coming and am always bewildered by actions and words. Enough said on this one.

Okay, deep breathe. I feel a little better. But just a little.

10 Reasons I Love Working with Cadets

2009-09-23T11:45:00.000-04:00

10. There is never a dull moment, nor a moment of silence (blessing and a curse;)
9. I stay current on the latest lingo that the “kids are saying these days”.
8. They laugh at my jokes. Whether they think I’m funny or they think they have to laugh since I’m the boss, it makes me feel good.
7. It’s awesome to see some of them really embrace fundraising for their alma mater.
6. They let me in on their lives, stories, decisions, etc…
5. It’s awesome to watch someone grow as a leader when I promote them to Supervisor. Their passion and ownership of the Call Center is energizing.
4. I’ve learned the true power of snacks. Snacks= a cadet feels a bit more loved= they have a bit more pep in their step.
3. It’s fun to be able to let the creative juices flow when it comes to themes, incentives, scripting, etc…
2. I get to see first hand the product of The Citadel. Working with cadets allows you a chance to really believe that what we tell our donors is true; The Citadel still produces great leaders!
1. It makes me laugh at how much energy I put into contemplating some of the cadets I dated/liked in college. I now know that the majority of the time they weren’t calling, it wasn’t because they were talking to someone else, it was because they were playing video games or doing stupid college boy stuff with their roommates. Never overestimate the complexity of a male college student. Watching them when they aren’t trying to impress anyone is priceless.

Nicaragua Highs

2009-09-10T14:47:00.000-04:00

• Seeing Lindsay and Mary waving with huge smiles through the glass of the Managua airport!
• Hugging Amber, Nathan, Mary, and Lindsay after a year of not seeing their faces
• 1 hot shower!!!! Getting the widow-maker to work for the first time ever, including all of last year’s trip!
• Playing Mangoes, Bananas, and Oranges with our Nica church/clinic volunteers as an ice breaker.
• AC at the Hotel Dalinky!!!!!!! Heck yeah!
• Cokes after a long day.
• Scoring a rocking chair for daily recaps and testimonies.
• Joan’s willingness to share her bugspray.
• Laughing with new friends over many dinners
• The return of SIGNS!!!! And many other random mind games around the patio.
• Learning, but never mastering, the Nicaraguan “Dang” hand signal. (I still practice though even though I’m home;)
• Seeing a syrup bottle on the breakfast table before the food arrived. That meant pancakes or French toast versus gallo pinto (rice and beans) for breakfast!! Which in turn meant I’d go to clinic with a full tummy. WooHoo!
• Seeing every child, along with most of the adults wearing the jewelry we made them every day.
• The feeling of simply being back in Managua.

Mismar's smile.

Zolia Maria

2009-09-10T14:28:00.000-04:00

As we said our goodbyes last night after the church service, my favorite 13 year old friend, Zoila Maria, came over to tell me that she wouldn’t be able to see us off tomorrow due to her school ending later than when we’d we pack up the clinic. She’d try to send her mom or grandmother with a special note for me though. How cute is that? Regardless, tonight would be our goodbye. I wasn’t ready. There was so much I wanted to say but again my words were locked up in language barriers.

We hugged as hard as we could a couple of times (side bar- why do I hug people harder here? Do I take my hugs for granted at home?). But my favorite part of our goodbye was when she and her friend, Karena, kissed my cheek and told me that they loved me very much. I told them the same. My heart falls a lot harder here, which is not necessarily a good thing.

Will this ever get easier? Goodbyes while knowing full well you will most likely never see someone again? My guess is no.

2009-09-03T16:54:00.001-04:00

(I’ll apologize for this in advance, but this entry will be long)…
Thursdays have been my favorite day of the week thus far on both of my trips to Nicaragua, because it means that it’s church night. And although you know it’s going to be a long day with a full clinic, rush home to eat and shower, only to rush back to the clinic/church for a few more hours, you also know that you’re going to experience something amazing. I think anytime we’re able to experience a different church, denomination, or even a different worship style as your own, you’re in for an eye opening experience. What makes it so fascinating for me while we’re here is that I know that although I can’t understand the language (most of the time), songs, etc…I do understand that the God they are worshiping in this foreign way is the same God I worship. It doesn’t matter where you live, there is only one Lord and He speaks all of our languages fluently.

I won’t overload you with details, but do want to share some of my favorite moments and learning opportunities from the service. First I’ve learned that hospitality abounds in these churches. Both years when we’ve arrived, we are escorted to our saved seats directly in front. Although we are there to serve them and their community, it is not that way during the service. I’ve also learned that something happens in my heart when I hear praise songs in another language. My mind can’t get caught up on the words, or the meaning of the song, but instead I get to sit back and really feel it. I’ve learned that standing room only, which I’ve seen in church at Christmas and Easter, is not the same in Nicaragua. Street room only is more like it. People literally stand outside of windows, doors, etc… When we stood on the stage to sing for them, I couldn’t believe that people were 4 rows deep outside of the church. In the dirt. Still singing.

And the most humbling thing I’ve learned is that church and faith are a contact sport here. It isn’t abnormal for kids to run down the aisle; however it’s not annoying there because there really aren’t church “rules”. And when they praise, they praise! I mean, dance moves and everything. How fun! And let me tell you, when they pray they really pray. The Pastor doesn’t lead the prayer and everyone listens. No, he’ll start the prayer and then the whole room is full of 75+ voices praying their prayer along with everyone else. It’s literally voices in every direction and you cannot help but feel engulfed.

And last but not least, when they ask for the church to pray over those who need prayer, that’s where the full contact part comes in. The whole church gathers around those in need and prays with everything they have. I have never heard a more powerful cry to God as I did tonight. I have no idea what the woman I was touching needed, but she was desperate. She didn’t just cry out to Him, she wailed. As I stood there, holding on to her arm, shaking and drenched in sweat and sobbing myself because I don’t think I’ve ever heard cries like that in my whole life, all I could do was pray that the Lord would lift her burden. It seemed too much for one person to bear. “Give it to us, please Lord, give some of her burden to us”, I prayed. I knew in my heart He’d be the one to lift if from her, but it still hurt to hear her cries.

As we left the church and got back on the bus completely drained, I thought to myself “this is how it should be. Leave everything you have at His feet. I want my faith to be a contact sport.”

Gumby!!

2009-09-02T11:40:00.000-04:00

It’s amazing how awesome a small, plastic green, stretchy man can make you feel! Last year I knew it must feel cool to be awarded the nightly Gumby Award, but this year, tonight, I got to experience it for myself and I must say, it’s pretty darn cool.

Gumby belongs to Nathan, one of the host missionaries in Nicaragua, and he is awarded nightly to someone who has demonstrated flexibility, teamwork, etc…throughout the day. The coolest part is that it’s awarded peer to peer, teammate to teammate. Last year during some selfish moments I contemplated “what can I do to win Gumby? Gather people’s dinner plates? Offer my beef jerky to those who only brought granola bars and were sick of them?” But then I realized “this is dumb. I don’t want to win it because I’m trying to win it. That’s lame and besides, he’s just a little toy.”

Tonight, after testimonies, Rachel (my partner for the day in glasses) began her Gumby awarding speech and I was looked around the room to see who I thought might have been the flexible one of the day. So many people popped in my head, but as she started talking, based on her words, I slowly realized that she was talking about me. “Whoa, I’m totally getting Gumby” I thought! Rachel’s words were awesome and kind, and she thanked me for allowing her to leave me solo in glasses (remember my fear of being in glasses in the first place, yikes) so that she could go on a couple house visits to patients who weren’t well enough to attend the clinic. She also thanked me for my willingness to try new things like glasses, utilizing my Spanish, etc… I didn’t even realize anyone was watching and yet someone was. Maybe I was flexible, but it was the Lord who was working through me and nothing I did on my own. Very cool feeling.

After graciously accepting the award and giving her a hug for making me feel 110% special, I sat down and already began considering my Gumby candidate for tomorrow. I’d have 24 hours to re-award him and I had 16 amazing people to consider. The mere fact that every single person here put their life on hold, work on hold, burned a week of vacation days, left behind their kids and spouses, left behind being able to brush their teeth with tap water, and some left behind “heavy” personal things that will be awaiting them when they return, I’d have to say that EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS TRIP is flexible.

Narrow it down I will, but it’s not going to be easy. Until then Gumby is proudly sitting on the night stand next to my bed and making me smile graciously. And I secretly can't wait to take him with me to clinic tomorrow for his glasses fitting:)

Meet Mismar...and his dimples

2009-08-28T17:33:00.001-04:00

It's been a couple of days since we first arrived in Rivas, however it only took Mismar one morning to steal my heart. Huge brown eyes + dimples that would make anyone smile= I'm a goner! This sweet 6 year old has become by far one of the highlights of my days here. Tickling him could easily become one of my favorite pass times. We play endless games of hide and seek, or rather Mismar runs around the clinic and I chase him until I catch him, throw him into the air and we start the game over. He loves to be spun in circles, loves watermelon (which I quietly sneak him my piece everyday during our lunch breaks), and has the best giggle I've heard in a long time. The best moment yet with him took place today after lunch. The church worship band played Open the Eyes of My Heart for us, and as we all worshiped together, my eyes were drawn to the cutest little Nicaraguan who was joyful smiling, dimples in full force, and clapping along to the music. I can already tell on only day 3 of the clinic that I am going to miss this boy when we leave. A LOT. Heart get ready.

A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

2009-08-27T16:09:00.000-04:00

Today started off shaky. I didn’t feel well on the bus ride to the clinic. Felt shaky, light headed, incredibly anxious for some reason and as we lined up for our morning prayer, tears began to come like it or not. As the awesome leader he is, Nathan, our full time Nica leader, noticed and quietly pulled me out of the circle to breathe, grab some Gatorade, and gather myself. I am not sure if everything was taking a toll on my body or if my new station in the clinic of “eye glasses” was freaking me out subconsciously.

I had wanted to be willing to go where I was needed and gladly accepted the request to serve in glasses this morning, but on the inside I was terrified. I know nothing about glasses. Have never worn them and definitely had never tried to fit someone for them. On top of that, we would not have a translator in our station, which meant speaking in Spanish about glasses. Awesome. With a few prayers, okay a LOT of prayers, and Mary and Amber’s patience and help, Rachel and I mastered just enough Spanish to be able to say to our patients in Spanish: “please stand here, can you read this line? How about this line? Is it clear or blurry? Is the problem reading or distance? Too strong or do you need stronger?” Whew. Here goes nothing!

(Fast forward 8 hours) As I lay in my bed after surviving the day, I am realizing that I’ve learned more Spanish in 8 hours than I did in 6 years of classes! Not to mention, I was able to give 20 people glasses!! AWESOME. I, me, little ole me, was able to help renew someone’s sight right before my very eyes! I can assure you that I have never felt anything better than what I felt when you can see sight, clear sight, come back to someone after years of blurred vision. My arm hair stood on end every single time and I had to fight back tears, after all, I was the professional (or so they thought). Praise God for donated, 1987ish glasses. I also learned that Nicaraguans care just as much about how glasses look as we do. We had to talk a few women into choosing the glasses that they actually read better with versus the smaller, more fashionable ones. Too cute. It made me laugh that even in a poverty stricken country, fashion is still important to women everywhere.

Day 2...Clinic Opens

2009-08-26T22:01:00.000-04:00

Today we kicked off the clinic with a bang, or actually with a beach ball and a microphone if you want specifics. After praying as a united team, both Cheles and Nicarguan church members, we were all given our marching orders for the day and headed our separate ways. With children's ministry being an area that I had not experienced much last year, I headed to my area without really knowing what to expect and equally taunted by fear and excitement. My 1st day in children's ministry definitely allowed me the opportunity to hone in on my strengths and weaknesses.

Strengths~ who knew I would come all the way to Nica and learn home to make a perrito chimboomba (balloon animal puppy)?! Who knew I could make a scraped leg better on an 8 year old boy with only 2 words ("dolor?" does it hurt and "Aqui" here), 1 rickety old chair, and a make shift band aid, aka...a monkey sticker?

Weaknesses~who knew how exhausted I'd be and out of creativity in aprox. 1.5 hours of the clinic opening its doors? What do we do for the next 6 hours? Who knew we'd have 35+ kids to entertain all afternoon? Maybe I'm not as great with kids as I thought.

Somehow, by the grace of God, we made it through the day with broken Spanish, broken toys, a blow-up microphone and beach ball serving as our only athletic equipment (duh...baseball). Only one child bleed, and another needed 3 stitches (thank God we are hosting a medical clinic), but I guess it could've been worse, right?

Can't wait to see what tomorrow holds!

Waking up in Nicaragua

2009-08-20T21:13:00.000-04:00

Today we woke at 5:45am, not because I had to per say but because the sun was shining through the window above my bunk and the roosters were telling us it was time to stir. With our morning orientation behind us and our mission in clear sight ahead of us, we boarded our trusty bus and drove 2 hours through some of the most beautiful hills I've ever seen. Rivas, Nicaragua will be our new "home" for the next 6 days and I am excited to meet the city and its people. It feels wonderful to be back and yet it also feels as though I never left.

As we drove from Managua to Rivas, the city of mangoes, it was still surreal to see the life differences between my home and their home. Rocks hold their roofs in place and dirt takes the places of carpet. And although the condition of the animals here is getting easier to see, my eyes are still drawn to them. I know in my heart that I need to get over it, after all how can they justify feeding dogs when they are struggling to feed their families? But again it just opens my eyes to how incredibly blessed we are in the states. We have such a plethora of resources that even our animals are well fed and sometimes over fed, and can even be dressed to the nines in doggie couture if the owner sees fit. The bottom line is that even a small difference such as the animals here make me feel incredibly blessed.

With less than 24 hours in, I can already tell that the Lord is at work in my heart and mind. Preparing yourself to have your life turned inside out with questioning what really matters, asking yourself if you're really, truly thankful for your blessings and what you're going to do with those blessings, and finally being stripped of almost all of your comforts even down to clean clothes is never going to be an easy way to spend a week. Yet as we stepped off of the bus in El Rosario and I saw the first 2 women who were there to greet us at the church where we'd hold our clinic, I knew in my heart that I was in the exact place I needed to be. Clean clothes or not.

Hola y Buenas Tardes

2009-08-19T11:56:00.000-04:00

Thank you to everyone who has welcomed me back via hug, text, calls, etc… Your thoughts and prayers have made my return an easier one. As we’ve spoken, I’ve been using the term “back in one piece” but started to realize last night that might not be the most truthful statement to use. How do you come back from a trip like that and not be missing pieces of yourself? The short answer is that you don’t. Pieces of me and my heart are still in Managua and Rivas, another piece of me is with a little boy named Mismar and a beautiful 10 year old names Liwiska “Gabriella”, and more pieces of me are with my teammates, both near and far” and most likely will be forever.

A few of you have asked if I have blogged yet or if am going to blog again about the journey. I will. It’s now my responsibility to tell my friends and family of the amazing people that I’ve met and about the wonderful trip that so many of you helped me finance and in turn experience. I wanted to start writing yesterday but honestly wasn’t ready. It’s still too fresh and I’m still trying to sort through everything. Tomorrow I’ll pull out my journal from the trip and begin to tell the story of our team, which is in turn their story (my new Nicaraguan friends).

Thank you again for your support, prayers, love, etc… I couldn’t have done it without you. I’m so glad to be back in pieces, but back none the less.

Dios le bendigas!

Diva, Apparently

2009-08-03T17:06:00.000-04:00

Apparently I am a Diva. I knew I was in some instances but was completely blindsided to realize that I might very well be the “team Diva” on my Nicaragua trip that’s about to launch in less than T minus 5 days. When you’re headed out of the country for 10 days and in close proximity with 15 strangers, the last thing you want to do is come across like Heidi and Spencer Pratt on “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here”!

But seriously, is no one else stressed out that all of our toiletries have to fit into a small Ziploc baggie?! Not a freezer, one gallon bag, but a small, here's your sandwhich bag. And not a few of the toiletries, but ALL of them. And enough to keep me clean and non-smelly for 10 days, not a weekend, and sans air conditioning anywhere in sight! My head starts to swirl when I make a mental list of everything that must fit in the small bag and 16 OZ liquid limit (i.e. face wash, body wash, face lotion, body lotion, deodorant, toothpaste, sunscreen, bug spray, mascara (okay, maybe I am a Diva), chapstick, stuff to keep my hair from distracting/scaring small children at the clinic, hand sanitizer, etc…I could fill one whole baggie up with just sanitizer!!).

I asked about the baggie in question and felt a room of blank looks shift in my direction. Lord, please keep us safe, please bring us the patients and allow us to care for and love on the patients, and please Lord let all of my toiletries fit in the sad little baggie below. Amen.

A Story. Not My Own, But So Much More Important.

2009-07-27T19:18:00.000-04:00

I've had a bit of blogger's block over the last week or so. That was until just 2 minutes ago thanks to Facebook. After perusing the "photos" section, I stumbled across an album from a friend's recent mission trip to Kenya. To say I was humbled by their photos would be putting it lightly. Awestruck seems more appropriate.

When I used to debate with my Christian friends on why I was fine having my "private" relationship with the Lord, why I was fully justified in not attending church because I didn't need an establishment to serve God, etc...I would usually end by letting them know I didn't want to become the kind of Christian they were partly because I loved the U.S. You see growing up I never wanted to leave the states and seeing the world just didn't do it for me. I told them that I didn't want to become a missionary one day and had no desire to travel to Africa and help people there. I was fine here and I knew if I did what they were asking of me, if I gave my life to the Lord, surely God would send me to Africa. Ugh.

Fast-forward 9 years. I've still never been forced to go to Africa. I've never been forced to go anywhere I didn't want to go for that matter. God has changed my heart. God did lead me to Nicaragua. It wasn't as bad as I thought 9 years ago. I hope one day He leads me to Africa. I'm not ready yet for the desert. One day I hope to be.

Their story is below. I'm not going to attach my words, as it wasn't my trip and I don't have a first hand glimpse into what it was like. I think his photos tell the story. I simply wanted to share with you the faces of the people that were touched. The lives that were changed. And the land that was blessed. You'll see faces, people, prayers, desperation, love, drought, faith, and rain. The land hadn't seen rain in 3 years. These men were desperate. Prayer can change things and it did. Rain drops on a dirty grey t-shirt have never looked so good.

Parental Observations

2009-07-13T15:34:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I had the pleasure of being an on-looker as two different parents made their children’s universe a very happy place to be. Let me preface this post by saying that earlier in the week I had sat down on the couch to catch up on an Oprah episode discussing child neglect. Needless to say, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room (granted, I was the only one in the room but I swear I saw Piggy shed a tear or 2 as well). I sat on my cushy couch, with my drink and snack in hand and watched story after story of children who are raised without food, without bathing, without any love from a single human being, and sometimes even raised in cages. I was heart broken and enraged. How can you do that to an animal let alone your own child?!

As I stood in church yesterday, and as I joined in with 1,000 other people as we sang and worshiped together, I noticed a family of 3 two rows ahead who would allow me a glimpse into the exact opposite upbringing that I witnessed via Oprah. Both parents, most likely in their early 30’s, literally “fought” over who would get to hold their child during each song. I say fought, but I mean it in the sweetest sense you can imagine. They both just wanted to be in that moment, hearts singing and arms holding the one they loved more than life. As we sang “Happy Day” the young mom danced with her toddler and held him up as if he were the only person on the planet. Love was in the air, along with the sweet boy with the red curls.

Later on in the day, over grilled hot dogs and bluegrass music, I had the pleasure of watching a father dance with his precious daughter in front a stage and crowd. Oblivious to the onlookers, this child was about 6 years old, danced like she knew what she was doing with graceful arms and smile plastered on her face, and was probably one of the cutest kids I’ve ever seen. What caught my eye more than her smile was the genuine look of love on her daddy’s face. You could tell that he felt like the lucky one. As the mom snapped pictures and the rest of us watched in adoration, I knew that I was privy to a family memory that would probably last a very long time.

As one of my dear friends watched beside me, she leaned over and said “I’d give a million dollars to have a memory like that with my dad.” Again, my heart broke as I was reminded of what much of her childhood was like and again I felt bad that she’d never feel a memory like that for herself. At the same time my heart grew for the little girl dancing with her dad who would have that memory.

As adults, you never know what memories your children will hold on to, but I do know that I hope to equip my children with plenty of loving ones for them to choose from someday. No child should ever grow up willing to pay for a happy memory.

Road Trips and Weekend Getaways with Your Girls...What I Learned:

2009-07-07T11:32:00.000-04:00

It’s possible to consume more calories in one car trip than you can in one whole week.
Fountain Cokes with vanilla syrup and popcorn ice make any 5+ hour car trip WAY cooler.
Never turning the radio on during your 11 hours of travel leaves much room for chatter.
“What if” and “Would you Rather” can knock out at least 2 hours.
When in doubt, do not eat at a resturant where flies definitely out number customers. Gross.
Having a soldier on your boat during the 4th of July makes the day a little more real and meaningful.
The older you get, the cooler your friend’s parents become.
30 is a little too old for extreme tubing. You’ll hurt for DAYS after the fun ends.
Never trust a friend who swears they won’t tip over the jet-ski. You’re totally going in that frigid lake water.
Yelling categories out as you plunge into a lake can add hours of cheap entertainment.
Signs is a game enjoyable throughout all generations.
Confetti is still way more fun than bubbles in my eyes.
Put 4 girls in one car and you’re bound to grow closer. Tears, laughter, and snacks can deepen any relationship.

What a Week!

2009-06-26T09:25:00.000-04:00

Wow. What a week and what a whirlwind of devastating news. Thank the Lord it’s Friday, because quite frankly and selfishly, I cannot take any more sad news this week.

For those of you who know me or for those who just simply made the mistake in bringing up Jon and Kate this week with me in the room, you already know my heart was hurting and I was in protective mode for the Gosselins. Sure, I don’t know them, but I have fallen in love with their kids over the years alongside of half of America. To see anyone’s marriage crumble, is devastating, but to see it plastered all over the tabloids, just too much to take. And then Mark Sanford’s announcement and to know his marriage is in shambles too. Not too mention the recent announcements of college friends and sorority sisters going through painful divorces, IS THERE HOPE anymore in marriages?

And just when I felt as though I could take a deep breath, I got the text. The text that I’ll always remember where I was when I received it and how I felt. “Michael Jackson is dead. What is going on??” All I could think was “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU MEAN FARRAH FAWCETT, RIGHT!!”

I’ll save my fond thoughts on this American icon in another blog, as I thoroughly believe the man stands alone and deserves his own shout-out. But seriously, I cannot remember a week, maybe aside from 9-11 and Hurricane Katrina, when everything seemed to stand still. When everyone seemed to want to gather and talk about the news. When I’ve been glued to the TV and radio in the hopes of being able to wrap my head around something. Can’t listen to his music over the last 18 hours without tearing up, but can’t not listen to it either.

This week: too much, too quickly. Emotional overload. Please make it stop.

Governor Rant

2009-06-23T16:51:00.000-04:00

Apparently the SC Governor is “missing”. People are freaking out around me. Judgments are flowing like wine. Comments have been made that he’s hiding something, maybe’s he’s had a nervous breakdown, finally maybe we’ll get a new Governor, etc…

WHO CARES?! Seriously people, he didn’t vanish into thin air. He wasn’t abducted at gun point. He did not flee with the state’s budget money. He simply took a break from you crazies. If his wife isn’t worried, why should you be worried? Can our leaders not take a break from their jobs?

Last time I checked, my boss did not have to clear it with me if he needed to shut his office door to work on something, if he needed to work from home to focus, or if he felt the need to take a hike, literally. And if Mark Sanford did have a break down, can you blame him in this economy?! Can you blame him when half the state feels the need to critique how he spends his time?

Maybe he isn’t the only one who should take a hike. Just sayin.

Father's Day Drive-by

2009-06-22T20:58:00.001-04:00

With Father’s Day being a meaningful day to both Rob and I, and spending it with our dad’s was not a possibility, we decided to do something meaningful sans fathers anyway. I will spare you the details on how we got to point of our mission, but the mission itself started with two bags full of Taco Bell tacos (both hard and soft), one Civic, and two determined people in search of the homeless.

Did you know that when you actually have warm, tasty tacos in your car awaiting hungry bellies, it’s really hard to find people that look like they might want them? After we drove around for about 20 minutes, we finally stumbled across a man waving at us from the corner. I quickly jumped at our opportunity, rolled down the car window and bashfully asked “Do you like Tacos?” His toothless grin will be forever embedded in my brain as he professed “I LOVE EM!” Finally, our first delivery! After we chatted for a moment with him about his aspiration of owning a taco cart in downtown Charleston, we watched him walk away with a sense of purpose in our hearts.

As we continued on our mission, we made another pass along the place that we had found him, only to find him sharing his new taco treasures with his 2 friends. I was in disbelief! I consider myself a kind hearted person, but I’m not sure that if I was homeless and hungry that I could easily share a free meal with anyone else. You’d probably find me solo, hiding out in an alley somewhere with mild sauce all over my face! Not our new friend, he was sharing his gift. At that I pulled over and Rob jumped out and gave each of them 2 more tacos. We noted that one man carefully placed one of his in his back pocket for safe keeping, which made me laugh (see quote below).

Long story short, after almost 2 hours we successfully found 10 homeless people and were able to give them 2 tacos each. We didn’t get into the whole “hard or soft” choices because then you feel obligated to then ask “mild, hot or fire sauce” and that’s just too many decisions for drive by taco distributing. Simple and genuine is enough I think.

As parting words, I’d like to share a few things that I learned (and one funny quote that arose) on our first “mission” yesterday:
It’s REALLY hard to find homeless people when you’re looking for them.
Hearing Rob tell our friend on the phone “We’re out driving around looking for homeless people to give tacos too” sounds even crazier than you already feel.
You can make 10 people’s bellies fuller with only $16
I’m definitely doing this again. Maybe once a month.
Drive by taco’ing is a great way to spend an afternoon
The homeless are not greedy (which humbled me completely). If you offer them food and they’ve already eaten, they’ll tell you that so that someone else can have their portion.
When you have nothing to your name, you form bonds strong enough to cause you to share when you do stumble across something to fill your bully.
Fun quotes arise such as “Is that a taco in your back pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

And last but not least, when you can’t be with your dad on Father’s Day, doing something in his honor is a close second. Knowing that one of the reasons you’d even think of doing a task like that is because of seeds that he and your mom have planted in you is an even better feeling.

Love you Dad!

TCF Staff Retreat='s Ropes Course. Bring it!

2009-06-18T17:16:00.000-04:00

While some members of our staff complain, threaten to not participate, and moan over the challenge, I’m getting my game face on. Seriously, I’ve got my camouflage shorts ready, got the eye black ready, now all I need is a skull and cross bone bandanna and I’m set for some serious staff-wide fun!

Who doesn’t want to try and hoist their entire office team over a 15 foot wall while only using ourselves sans ropes and ladders? I do, I do. Running and climbing until I puke in the 90 degree weather? Um yes, please. Speculating every day from now until July 8th on who I think will refuse to partake in such activities? Duh, sign me up!

It’s time for us paper pushers to get a little dirt on our hands and faces. We can save the moaning and complaining for July 10th when none of us can move!

Has Anyone Seen My Filter?

2009-06-17T17:06:00.000-04:00

Apparently today I left my “filter” at home this morning while I made a mad dash to the office. Coffee, check. Breakfast for the car, check. Eye make-up because I’m too behind to do it at the house, check. Verbal filter, uh-oh. Pretty sure that’s still sitting on the counter next to my English muffin crumbs.

I was not aware of this faux pas until I was in a brainstorming meeting this morning with our team. Apparently I did not like someone’s idea and made it known with an over emphasized “UUUGGGHHH” sound out loud after someone whipped out their idea. It was so quick to slip out, but so severely uncalled for. Who does that?! Who shoots down a co-workers brainchild, and who does it without constructively saying why they’re shooting it down? “How about this idea?”….NOPE, please try again later.

I seriously feel like my mouth is on auto-pilot today. Comment after comment has flown out with my mouth, some appropriate, some not so appropriate, all the while my mind and body sit back as innocent bystanders.

If I were to be 100% transparent with you, I’d probably say it felt slightly good and refreshing to say the first thing that came to my mouth. However the nice person part of me will only leave it at “I hope I remember to grab my filter tomorrow before I make someone cry or get fired”. UUUGGGGHHH.

The "Why" Column

2009-06-16T15:22:00.001-04:00

o Why does it rain every single weekday afternoon in the summer when I’m stuck in a cubicle, but never when I want to curl up on the couch or fall asleep to a thunderstorm?
o Why did I just eat lunch but I’m still hungry?
o Why is it subfreezing in my office?
o Why do I have to wear a sweater to work in June?
o Why do people look at me funny when I’m wearing said sweaters?
o Why is every show worth watching anymore a reality show?
o Why don’t guys like reality shows as much as I do?
o Why do Heidi and Spencer appear on two reality shows during one season? And why do they make me want to vomit?
o Why does Heidi in one breath say she wants to be the next Mother Teresa and the best Christian alive and in the next breath pose nude for Playboy?
o Why don’t her parents yank a knot in her chain?!
o Why is Lauren leaving The Hills? (insert sad face)
o Why was there not more of a send off for her, seeing as how she was the sole reason a lot of us watched Laguna Beach and The Hills?
o Why do I feel like I lost a friend when I watched her drive away on the season finale?
o Why don’t I feel like a nerd for typing the last question?

Coming Out of the Closet

2009-06-15T17:36:00.001-04:00

This weekend rocked. I spent Friday night playing with the beautiful baby boy that I was babysitting. Saturday I lounged by the pool, helped my friend look hot for a wedding, and went to Wild Wing to fill my chili-cheese fry craving. Sunday I got to hear an amazing Pastor, spend all day on a boat, and somehow wound up in a strange man’s closet with 7 other people. Interesting highlight to a fabulous summer weekend!

After an hour or two on my friend’s family’s boat, the sky began to turn from sunny and blue to overcast and grey. With the impending summer storm miles away from our boat, we kept anchor, ate chicken and watched the pretty lightening from afar. It wasn’t until the small storm started to envelop the sky that we decided it might be best to make a move in the opposite direction. With the mothers on the boat starting to become nervous, and I use that term lightly as terrified might be more justified, our Captain decided that we might want to find shelter and abandon the lightening rod that we were all sitting in.

Thanks in part to the generosity of two complete strangers who were storm watching from their pier, we were able to dock the boat and find shelter on a wooden (praise the Lord) pier, with a roof to keep us dry. With the mothers fearfully seeking shelter in the storage closet (mind you it’s probably only 4 by 5 feet big) the rest of us watched the clouds and played with the crab traps we found on the dock. That was until a crack of lightening and thunder directly overhead literally made me jump and run to the closet in one motion. In the closet is where I stayed, where we all stayed, as the rain, wind, and lightening stood its ground for awhile.

Never in a million years did I think that I would somehow find myself in a small closet, huddled against 7 of Tracy’s family members, on a stranger’s pier, and praying that the thing would hold against any weight limits it might have, all while two terrified mothers kept breaking out into show tunes to keep their mind off of the storm. With the sun finally trying to peek through the clouds, coming out of the closet never felt so glorious!

Walking, Talking Miracles

2009-06-04T15:36:00.001-04:00

A few months ago I received a call from my mom that I had been waiting to receive over the last few years. Although the call went slightly different than I always thought it would, it started the same way that my mind had played over so many times.

“Britt, there’s been an accident in China.” With my little brother, Tanner, living in China over the last few years, and with his sense of adventure coupled with his lack of fear, I knew this call was inevitable. My mom then proceeded to tell me that Tanner was okay but sadly his good friend was not. Matt, Tanner’s friend from home who was living with his wife over in China, had just been in an accident at Tiger Leaping Gorge and things looked grim. Apparently Matt slipped while trying to descend a steep ravine and had fallen over the edge roughly 25-30 feet and landed on his head amongst the rocks. The friend with Matt called Nora and Tanner who were at the lodge and the search for Matt began.

Sadly Matt suffered a split from his eyebrow to the back of his head, fractured his skull in 3 places, broken his neck, and had brain damage. The rest of Matt’s journey was a whirlwind consisting of being carried out of the Gorge by donkey (they did not know his neck was broken at this point and had seated him upright to get him out), and riding in an ambulance for 2.5 hours to the closest hospital where they wouldn’t have adequate care to treat his injuries. The US Consulate called Matt’s parents to notify them that it would take $75,000 just to fly him from the small hospital to care in Hong Kong. This amount would not include any of the other care he’d need. Where does a Pastor’s family come up with that kind of money?
Insert Miracle #1- family, friends, and perfect strangers via Facebook rally and pitch in to fly Matt to Honk Kong.

Once in Hong Kong, Matt’s care was elevated to treat his injuries, but the treatments and healing that lay ahead of him would be lengthy. Weeks later, after the doctors in Hong Kong approved travel back to the states for the best care he’d receive, Matt made the trek safely. The doctors in the states were apparently shocked that Matt had been released so soon, but were thankful that it had happened as they were able to fix a surgery that had been done incorrectly in China.
Insert Miracle #2- a second chance at a correct healing process.

Matt would still need his skull repaired with the insertion of a plate in 4-6 months, had lost sight in both eyes with the exception of peripheral vision, and would most likely need physical therapy for months and months.

Cue final miracle- With all of that being said, I’m happy to report that Matt has made almost a FULL RECOVERY!!! His sight has come back in his left eye (Praise the Lord! Praying for the right eye), his skull has been repaired, and he is miraculously returning to work as a youth Chaplain next week.

Insert Miracle #3- God still heals daily. He can take a dire situation and show up when you think all hope is lost. Prayer works and He listens intently.

Celebrating Matt today!!

Head+Heart= Back on Track

2009-05-20T10:46:00.001-04:00

After a heart and head debate on my potential return to Nicaragua this August, I am excited and relieved to have a peace about my upcoming trip. Although finances are slow right now, they have begun to pop up in the exact moments when again, my head starts to doubt the trip. Is it spiritual warfare, I don’t know? Is it just plain fear, quite possibly?

I’m not afraid of any risks, or inadequacies like I was last year, but I think I’ve just felt like something was off because it was. Last year was my first trip. I don’t know if you can ever expect another trip to hold the same feelings of wonder, worry, and the sheer excitement of not knowing what in the world to expect. I went to Nicaragua with strangers and came back with precious bonds that I’ll never forget. I don’t have to see or even speak to my last year’s teammates very often but when I think of them, something happens in my heart. I know that they are the only 17 people who can understand what I felt on that trip and that makes me tied to them in amazing way.

I cannot expect my 2nd trip and any other trip after that, to feel the exact same way. That’s entirely too much pressure. I now realize that my fear was that this trip won’t live up to the last experience, but I also understand that it doesn’t have too. This is not the same trip. The new teammates were chosen for this year’s purpose and I am excited to grow with them and learn along side of 17 more people. This year’s location will be chosen for a reason and that too does not have to be the same for amazing things to ensue. This trip isn’t about me and shouldn’t be, but sadly I think that it was in my head, whether I was aware of it or not.

God has a plan. He never did not have a plan for this trip. I was just not giving myself readily over to that plan, but am relieved to be back on track. Nicaragua, here I come!

Heaven on a Stick

2009-05-19T11:20:00.001-04:00

After brainstorming ideas for something new, something with flare, to bring on my “breakfast day” at the office, I recently discovered a new breakfast treat. Surely there was something other than bagels, donuts, and cereal one can chose from to treat her co-workers to breakfast. Other co-workers had gone for yogurt parfait stations, gourmet muffins the size of my head, homemade goodies, etc… How does one top such meals, especially on a budget?!

Can’t beat ‘em? Can’t join ‘em? What’s left but to do a complete 180! (Insert the frozen food isle) That is where I stumbled across a little slice of heaven on a stick. Piggies ‘n Pancakes...What?! A sausage link, wrapped in a pancake, the hint of syrup, all atop a wooden stick. Who knew such a thing existed? Suddenly the fair meets breakfast. It’s brilliant really!

Friday and again this morning I gave in to my urge for a Piggie ‘n Pancake. I sat in my cubicle and allowed two worlds collide…the fair meets my office. Never before have I been more content under the florescent lighting, amongst the piles of paper and low hum of the copy machines.

Now if only I can figure out how to turn my desk into a ski ball machine…

Some Do, Some Don't, You Did.

2009-05-04T15:32:00.000-04:00

This weekend at a silent auction that I held for my cadet employees, one of my callers came up to me and unexpectedly handed me a card with my name on the front. I didn't think anything more than "aww, that's sweet" at the time. After about an hour of playing the role of "host", I snuck back to a quiet area to read the card. The front simply said "Some Do, Some Don't, You Did". Inside of the card were some of the most precious words I've ever read (plus a movie gift card as well).

As I sat there with tears in my eyes, and pride in my heart for this amazing young person, I relished in the moment he created for me. Apparently I have made a difference in his life, and whether or not it was intentional at all times, it happened.

This May I am graduating 7 seniors, 4 of which are my Supervisors who have been with me since their sophomore year. I love working in higher education, but I hate this part. I hate spending day in and day out with people, growing with them and sharing with them my passion for The Citadel and for fundraising for their alma mater, only to have them graduate and move on. I guess I actually don't hate it as much as I just miss them when they leave. I miss their faces and their personalities that make the call center a fun place to be. I miss their ability to constantly ask me questions when I'm trying to get something else done. I miss their teasing. I miss their low chatter at night, and the fact that they are always hungry, and that no matter how many times I adjust it, there is not a temperature on our office thermostat is pleasing to everyone.

Thank you, Austin, for making my day with your card. Thank you for saying "thank you for everything". Thank you for standing by a brand new Boss three years ago and for growing alongside of me when a lot of my methods were a result of trial and error. And last but not least, thank you for growing into one of the best alumnus that I've had the pleasure to work with at The Citadel. I'm proud of you, as I know you have a very bright future ahead of you!

Congrats to all my seniors! TCF won't be the same without you!

Being a Home Owner Means...

2009-04-24T16:58:00.000-04:00

...Fixing things when they break, or in my case, calling the people who can fix the things when they break. Worrying about hurricanes and wildfires versus praying that they'd come close enough to me to get a day off of work/school. Caring when some people wear shoes on my new carpet (yikes, I'm becoming my mother;). Putting every spare cent you have into maintaining your first place solo. Ensuring a safe and happy place for roommates to live. Changing air filters, water filters, and light bulbs (you mean they don't actually change themselves?!). Being poor regardless of how many hours you work.

However, it also means driving to your own little slice of "heaven" after a long day of work. Having a place you miss when you stay in a hotel. Being able to invite friends over for meals, TV premiers, and game nights. Having a place that family from Illinois wants to and enjoys visiting. Offering a safe place for a friend to stay when her own living situation turns south. Seeing something you waited for patiently, worked hard for, and prayed about come together piece by piece right before your very eyes. And last but not least, after all these years, having a place to call home aside from your parent's house.

Blog Worthy

2009-04-15T17:05:00.000-04:00

Beach season is literally 2 weeks away in Charleston and I am no where near beach ready!

This morning I grabbed a donut. I held the donut and it looked like a beacon of light in my still dark morning. Without even thinking, I looked at the fat gram count on the donut box.

20 grams of fat. In 1 donut.

Donut went back in the box, the box went back on the counter, and I walked away.

For anyone who knows how much I love donuts, cakes, cookies, etc...you'll know this act was nothing short of a will-power miracle for me. Blog worthy, totally. Alert the media worthy, quite possibly!

10 Things I Hope Are In Heaven Someday

2009-04-02T15:38:00.000-04:00

10. Vanilla Coke. I'd prefer it fountain style with crushed ice, but I trust that the Lord knows which way is the very best to serve it!
9. Chili's chips and salsa.
8. Dogs. I'm not sure I'd want to go anywhere that Wrigley cannot. I know that animals aren't supposed to have souls, but I'm still holding out.
7. My family and friends. All of them.
6. Westin's Heavenly Beds. They've been named that for a reason.
5. An ocean breeze.
4. McGriddles. Enough said.
3. The lack of tears and stress.
2. Friendly and familiar faces to welcome us as we enter.
1. ME.

Led or Forced?

2009-03-23T17:01:00.000-04:00

It's official, I've signed up for another mission trip to Nicaragua this August. I'm really excited to go back and serve, see old friends and make new ones, and be stretched in a way that only a mission trip can stretch you.

The problem is that for some reason something feels off this time. For whatever reason, whether I was out of the country, sick, etc...I've had to miss 3 out of our 4 meetings already and I feel distant from the trip right now. I know I want to be utilized. I know I miss Nicaragua like crazy. I know the Lord has laid medical missions on my heart. Still I seem uneasy and unsure. Finances are not lining up either which makes me wonder if this trip is really of God or of Brittany this time around.

I know that if I go, He'll use me, but I also want to go because that is His plan not mine. I'm praying daily for direction and leadings. Please lead me Lord.

Top O' the Morning Cont.

2009-03-18T13:04:00.000-04:00

Just to top off my fabulous day, I got to go home and pick up 4 piles of dog poo after work last night. Just thought I'd share.

Thank you

Top O' the Morning to Me!

2009-03-17T12:57:00.000-04:00

I should've known that today was going to be "one of those days" when I slammed my head into the closet door while trying to get dressed for work. Although the closet has been in the same location for a year and 2 months, it still managed to jump out and smack me "good morning" on this loevly St. Patty's Day.

The rest of my day, although not as painful, has been about the same. And I thought wearing my green sweater on this holiday was supposed to bring me luck:(

Faith, lived out

2009-03-02T16:23:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I was privileged enough to get a glimpse first hand of what faith can truly look like embraced whole heartedly. One of my best friends, and one of the best people I know, was hit by some unexpected challenges in her life over the last month or so. After rejoicing with friends and family about their soon to be newest family member, the same couple was given news that their “first” had unexpectedly stopped growing and that a heartbeat was no longer present. How any mother and father can handle such news I’ll never know, but sadly it was their news to handle somehow.

Being hundreds of miles away from any close friends and all family members, we have all sat back and watched our beautiful friend struggle without knowing the right words to say and without being able to just sit with her while she grieved. I know none of the trials they faced were easy, but as I sat with her for a bit yesterday, I was in awe of how amazing her attitude, outlook, and faith truly is. I’ve seen this friend through the lose of someone close to her, through the heartbreak of boys, and now through the heartache of losing a child, and never have I seen her take her eyes off of the Lord, but instead watched her lean solely on her faith, and not on understanding as I am sure there is none in times like that.

Although I didn’t have the strength to say it to her yesterday, I am so proud, so thankful and so blessed to be her friend. She is beautiful inside and out, day in and day out. Her heart is golden and her faith is immeasurable. She will make an incredible mother some day and until that day comes, God-willing, I promise to pray. I promise to pray for the continuing healing of your body, heart, and mind, and I will continue to thank the Lord for blessing us all with your presence. Some tiny baby is going to be very lucky one day!

My Brain is Mush

2009-02-25T17:30:00.000-05:00

After 7 hours of software training today, it's official, my brain is fried. I am exhausted from absorbing way more "technology" than I am used too. How do some people make a living by working on software, computers, etc... I think I'd rather go to the dentist every day. Seriously.

Let Me be Me

2009-02-12T16:39:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite bands sings an amazing song called “Let Me be Myself” and as I sat in my car yesterday and listened to those words, it struck me on a deeper level of how opposite I’ve lived from these lyrics on my journey:

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
To say that it's ok, but tell me
Please, would you one time
Let me be myself
So I can shine with my own light
And let me be myself
For a while, if you don't mind
Let me be myself
So Ican shine with my own light
Let me be myself

That's all I've ever wanted from this world
Is to let me be me

In dating relationships in the past I would often find myself second guessing every little thing I said to the point that my friends would tell me I was being ridiculous. Every time I called someone, just because I was thinking about them, I would later second guess whether or not they’d think I was annoying, etc… I’m also guilty of putting that burden onto others. I too have asked people to be more or less of “them”. What right do I have to do such a thing? When a relationship would end it would rock my world because I would assume it was something that I had done or something that I was not that they needed in another person.

What it’s taken me 30 years to learn though, is that in reality it doesn’t matter if I am not what someone else needs. I am me. I am what I need. Plain and simple. I am wired up specifically to be me and no one else. Last night my small group discussed the verses below that we’ve all heard a thousand times, yet it also hit me deeper:

Psalm 139:13
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.

Listening to the 3 Doors Down lyrics last night after sitting in a group with beautiful, Godly girls who are all so different, (and thank God we are), and coupled with knowing that God himself, formed me in His image should be and will be enough for me. He made me to be me, and He did it marvelously the Bible states. He knew I wouldn’t say all the right things and He knew that I’d call people when I thought of them, and yet He didn’t cringe. When I was formed he didn’t ask for a mulligan, yet instead He lined up good works for me to complete. Why did He not cringe at who I am? Because He made me, with His two hands! And for that, I not only feel marvelous, but I am so thankful!

A Sheltered Life

2009-02-06T08:27:00.000-05:00

As I imagine many offices around the country are in the same boat this week, my office has been debating the Michael Phelps Marijuana debacle relentlessly.

I think the only general consensus that I'm walking away from each debate with is the feeling that I must lead a VERY sheltered life! Apparently America is overrun with professional hippies. Does everyone I know partake in the illegal drug?

I've heard so many people argue the fact that it should be legalized, but the bottom line is that it is still illegal. Period. I do not feel sorry for someone who chooses to partake in an illegal activity, outside of jay-walking, and then cries "poor me, I was just having fun" when they get caught. You choose, you loose. When you set yourself apart from everyone else in the world and when the whole world stops what they are doing in August to cheer you on and support your dreams and goals, you cannot be angry when the whole world feels as though your blatant poor choice should make headline news.

I understand that no one is perfect and I am far from it on a daily basis. The difference is that I do try to avoid choices that would allow others to doubt my integrity. And I have to think that someone who has set himself up to be a role model for kids across the world, would try and do the same.

No Me Gusto el Peso!

2009-02-05T15:51:00.000-05:00

I have never been more excited to see a dollar bill than I am this week. I learned fairly quickly that I am horrible at math while visiting Cancun last week! For starters, why does every location in Cancun tell you the rate for pesos to $'s is different? I guarantee that if you walk into 5 different stores on the way home from work tonight, the dollar bill will carry the exact same worth.

And why, does everyone in Cancun (and yes, everyone, even our 5 star hotel) try and rip you off? Our taxi driver said that "without American tourism in Cancun, there would be no Cancun". With that in mind, why does everyone try to short change you, confuse you, etc... I don't care if the margaritas are flowing down there like contaminated water, 2 made in china magnets are not worth $20. Period. I may be confused by simple division equations, but I am not dumb.

I miss some aspects of beautiful Cancun makes me want to run out and spend dollar bills all over our glorious country!

Top Ten Things I Learned in My 20's

2009-01-28T09:19:00.000-05:00

10. I love working in the non-profit sector, regardless of the not so great pay.
9. If I can survive a lay-off and being jobless as a brand new home owner for 4 months, I can survive almost anything.
8. I need to take better care of myself. "Burning the candle at both ends" just doesn't fly anymore.
7. Love is messy.
6. Love is confusing.
5. Girlfriends truly do become like family and you'll need them more than you'd ever imagine.
4. I can survive outside of my comfort zone, with absolute strangers, in a 3rd world country, when it means that I will able to help someone in need.
3. I am going back to that third world country in the next decade as well.
2. The older I get, the more I grow and learn. The more I grow and learn, the more I like myself. The more I like myself, the more I am able to truly like and appreciate others.
1. Leaving my 20's behind isn't as scary as I thought. It's actually kind of refreshing.

Good "awe" versus bad "awe"

2009-01-12T16:11:00.000-05:00

Today, yet again, I've found myself awestruck. Not the awestruck you feel when someone tells you they're expecting their first child or when you witness a breathe-taking sunset. No, it's more the awe you feel when someone does something so unbelievably horrible and unjust that you are left without words. Awe that when continuously bombarded with it, makes you sick to your stomach.

I knew I was going into my 2009 fasting season with some prayer requests, but the growing "awe" that surrounds me only reiterates my need for guidance, direction, and peace.

Here's to hoping tomorrow is Awesome. Not Awe-ful.

21 Days of fasting...Here We Go!

2009-01-12T11:19:00.000-05:00

The fast will begin (for me) tonight at sundown. Our church has begun a voluntary fast for 21 days, along with 250 other churches across the country, and although I know that this will be a huge undertaking for me, I want to be on board as much as possible!

Fasting is something I’ve done in the past, especially as a Catholic during Lent, but I’ve never fasted more than one thing at a time. I’ve done chocolate, TV and movies, caffeine, etc...and as a child I’d always try to give up peas or homework, until my mom explained to me that giving up something you already despise doesn’t count as a “sacrifice”.

Before embarking on this 21 day journey through hunger pains and caffeine withdrawal, it’s important for me to determine what it is I am actually fasting for. Along with my church, I will fast for 3 reasons:

1. Direction for Seacoast in 2009. Where are we headed and what do we feel the Lord is calling us towards as we kick off a new year.
2. That Seacoast will be able to sell the plot of land along 526 that’s been sitting, unused for a couple of years.
3. For our Country! I will fast and pray for wisdom for our leaders, safety for our men and women fighting for our freedom, peace both on our soil and foreign soil, and for our economy and those who have lost jobs, homes, and hope in 08/09.

For myself, I will fast for my own reasons that I will keep more personal, but they will encompass personal direction, purpose, and the well-being of my family.

Although most people will try and stick strictly to The Daniel Fast (please Google for details), I am going to follow Daniel as closely as I personally can without jeopardizing my health as I see fit.

Over the next 21 days, I will abide from the following diet guidelines (with the exception of Sundays, which are considered days of rest, even from fasting):
• All fruits, vegetables, and legumes are acceptable (and natural peanut butter)
• Fish is acceptable (for me, at least, due to already existing Anemia)
• Whole grain pasta, rice, and bread (I found one site that allows whole wheat bread)
• Water and milk only (I added milk for dietary reasons)
• No sugars (artificial included), No sweets, No fried foods, No cheese(Lord,help me!), No salad dressings with the exception of oil and vinegar
• No CAFFEINE!! (please see small prayer one line above)
• Zero snack foods that do not fall into the first line (i.e. it must be a fruit, veggie or legume)

With it all down on paper, and this blog as my source of accountability, let the hunger pains begin! And when the pains begin, let me remember to say a prayer for the above listed items instead of turning to food to quench that hunger. I pray that I will closer to the Lord over the next 21 days and further from the things that I usually allow to fill me.

I’ll be praying for you all over the next 21 days!

Marley and Me and Kleenex

2009-01-05T11:46:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I went to see Marley and Me in search of a romantic comedy and something to warm the heart. Notice that I said warm the heart, not crush the heart. What a tear jerker! As we were leaving the theater, my boyfriend suggested that I might want to go clean my face up a bit in the ladies room, if that gives you any insight into my 4 legged and fur induced agony.

All tears aside, Marley and Me is simply amazing! Although the movie is about an unruly, uncontrollably crazy dog, the story line takes you through 15 years of a married couple's life (insert the adorable Jennifer and Owen). The marriage roller coaster is en route and you find yourself up with them when they celebrate a family victory and your heart breaks for them when they hit rough patches, which all marriages do. It tells a true story about how love and commitment isn't always as the big screens show and that sticking with something you believe in can sometimes be one of the hardest decisions even though it should be simple and clear-cut.

By the end of the movie, I felt like I was part of their family and when the credits began to roll, I was still. I didn't want to leave and face everyone who had listened to me sob for the past 2 hours and yet I couldn't wait to get home and hug my little Wrigley.

Thank God for dogs! Marley and Me allowed me to love my dog even more than I already did, which I didn't think possible. It reminded me that dogs, although frustrating at times, come into our lives and bless us with their constant love and affection. Wrigley could care less if my hair is a mess, if my clothes don't match, or if I am not the wealthiest girl in Charleston. He wakes up with me every morning with a cuddle session and is the most excited thing when I arrive home, even after a 15 minute trip to the grocery store. I've never known a more faithful companion and I thank Marley and Me for capturing that feeling for it's viewers and for capturing my heart along the way.

The Stress of the 3-0

2008-12-18T11:01:00.000-05:00

With only a couple more weeks until I enter yet another decade of my life, I cannot help but feel a bit bummed. I'm not necessarily bummed by the number itself, but more so about the party that is looming ahead.

For people that know me, they know that B-days are huge to me! For example, I cried two weeks ago when I had Strep Throat and had to miss my best friend's 30th. Not only do I like big parties, but themes are a must and costumes are often a requirement. I love to celebrate with everyone that I care about and the more the merrier(although due to my choice in living locations, I don't get to celebrate with my family all too often).

This year however seems bigger than usual. I'm turning 30 and I want to start this decade off with not only a bang but an explosion rather. I want to dance with my friends, take tons of pictures, get dressed up, and leave my 20's behind me! The only catch is that I have 0 dollars to spend, everyone has tons going on in their lives right now, and it just doesn't feel like many people are in the mood to celebrate right now.

I guess it's time to get creative. Go big or go home has always been my motto when it comes to b-days, so why should this year be any different? If no one has time to come, I'll be "dancing with myself" in my party dress.

Mission Minded Interview

2008-12-16T16:13:00.000-05:00

Two of my good friends, Nathan and Amber Babcock, are full-time missionaries in Nicaragua and I was blessed this past fall by serving under their leadership on my first mission trip. As most of you know based on my past blog entries, my trip to Managua was life changing and one that I'll never forget. What you may not already know is that by God's perfect timing, I was placed on a trip that would be hosted by Nathan, my very first friend at Seacoast and someone (along with his amazing wife of course;) that I hold very dear.

A month or so ago Nathan asked if he could interview me for their blog and I graciously agreed as I never pass up a chance to talk about my trip, the people I met, and Nicaragua itself.

If you're interested, please feel free to check out the interview on their website at:
http://missionsminded.org/2008/11/five-or-six-questions-on-short-term-missions-with-brittany-meyers/

A special thanks to Nathan for allowing me a few minutes to re-live my trip via his interview!

10 Things I'm Thankful for in '08

2008-11-30T12:43:00.000-05:00

10. Time at home with my family, both immediate and extended. Who else's family will play "Pit" while shouting "two for two, two for two!!!" for hours of laughter?! And I can't imagine anyone else I'd rather stuff myself to the brim with swedish pancakes than my grandparents and aunt and uncle!
9. Two Thanksgiving meals in one day with the Meyers and the Howard families. Eating until I am uncomfortably full is awesome although I did feel guilty at times since I know somewhere, someone was hungry.
8. A job. Being laid-off in january for four months was tough, but thankfully I am back where I belong at The Citadel. God works in mysterious ways!
7. My own home. I became a new homeowner in January and love having a place of my own.
6. Amazing friends! I'm constantly convinced that I have the most amazing friends that serve as my family in SC.
5. My sweet dog Wrigley aka "Piggy".
4. RHG. What other boyfriend would be willing to forgoe his own Thanksgiving with his family to play cards, go shopping on Black Friday, and gain 10 pounds with mine?
3. My Nicaraguan expierence in '08. I embarked on my first mission trip this year after a few years of waiting and am forever thankful for the trip, people, teammates, and leaders that the Lord placed me with. It is beacuase of this trip that I cannot wait to serve on a lifetime full of mission trips.
2. A home to escape home from. Although Charleston is my home now, I am so thankful for my parent's home in Rockford to escape too when I need rest for my weary spirit. I love my life, don't get me wrong, but I think we all need down time to restore and rejuvinate and my folks have always provided that for me.
1. HOPE and FAITH. 2008 was tough at times with lay-offs and financial trials, but hope has never left my side thanks to faith and my amazing God. I've had some hopeless times in my life, but in 2008 Hope always rose to the top. And for that I am THANKFUL.

A night with TWLOHA

2008-11-06T16:46:00.000-05:00

Some of you have probably seen me sport my favorite t-shirts with the wording "To Write Love on Her Arms" and wondered what exactly that meant. Others of you know exactly what that means and how much those 6 words mean to me. Thanks to my wonderfully supportive boyfriend, this Tuesday night I was lucky enough to spend the night captivated by the girl in which To Write Love on Her Arms was created about. Listening to Renee Yohe speak was something that I will never forget and was something that I am so thankful for.

I first stumbled upon TWLOHA a year or two ago thanks to a random MTV series. No one on the series spoke about the organization, no one plugged the cause, just a simple couple wearing cool t-shirts led me to the group who in part led me to the truth which I claim today. TWLOHA is a non-profit, christian organization who's sole purpose is to educate and bring awareness to such topics of depression, anxiety, and suicide. For decades depression has plagued not only the United States, but also people around the world. Check out these statistics:

-121 million people worldwide suffer from depression. (The World Health Organization)

-18 million of these cases are happening in the United States. (The National Institute of Mental Health)

-Between 20% and 50% of children and teens struggling with depression have a family history of this struggle and the offspring of depressed parents are more than three times as likely to suffer from depression. (U.S. Surgeon General's Survey, 1999)

-Depression often co-occurs with anxiety disorders and substance abuse, with 30 percent of teens with depression also developing a substance abuse problem. (NIMH)

-2/3 of those suffering from depression never seek treatment.

Untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide, and suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers. (NIMH)

TWLOHA has brought light to what most people push into the dark. They've given victims a voice and they've taught me that although I have struggled with depression, I am not alone and that it's nothing that I need to be ashamed of. Shame keeps depression and anxiety in the dark and we all know that what we keep in the dark and ignore, most often times grows and becomes larger. I, for one, do not want my illness to grow nor did I do anything to bring this about. It's an illness just like cancer, just like migraines, just like anything else that you go to the doctor for and seek treatment.

When I stumbled upon this group I was of the mindset that if I prayed hard enough, I could be healed. I also thought that if God really was who He says He is than He would cure me of this illness. I started praying and relying on prayer alone for my escape. I was struggling and had sought treatment however at I had felt guilty for not trying to heal on my own and relying on doctors for help. Although prayer and the Lord's help are large factors in the treatment of such illnesses, they do not need to be the only solution. God created people. Some people he created to become doctors. Those doctors have gone on to find treatments for such illnesses and TWLOHA has helped me realize that just maybe those treatments they've found in counseling, medications, etc...are God's form of rescue for us. Maybe the people He has placed in my life are also part of His rescue, as they often remind me of hope when my own head cannot seem to remember.

Not only has TWLOHA hes helped me realize that rescue is possible and that treatment exists for my own well being, they've created a community of people who share my feelings and sometimes my pain. They have given us a voice and done it in a way that glorifies God and His triumphs as we start to heal. If I am going to be called to go through the darker times throughout my life, I want to also be a voice to others when needed and hand to hold when they too feel as I have.

Although I could write for days on this topic that is so close to my heart, I will not bore anyone any longer than needed. However I do ask that you read this last piece and if you feel so inclined, please check out TWLOHA.com to read the full story about Renee, the movement, and how to help those who might need you to "understand" some day. The story is incredibly well written and just like Renee herself, is captivating.

I leave you with this excerpt from their story which beautifully states "We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a princess, Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.

Great Things Are Yet to Come

2008-10-27T15:54:00.000-04:00

With economic hardships surrounding all of us, regardless of our city, our job title, and our socio-economic status, I cannot help but turn to God for guidance, peace, and strength. With local food banks not having enough food to feed families who have lost work and with families that are fortunate enough to still have work feeling stretched due to rising prices and living costs, I go to bed nightly praying that things do no get worse.

This Wednesday I will attend the 7th Annual Charleston Leadership breakfast with 9 other members of our staff at The Citadel Foundation. I am so excited to be seated with 9 Christians from my office who are all there for the same reason...to lift our city up in prayer. Aside from our table of ten, hundreds of Charleston community members will have one focus that morning, regardless of home church, denomination, and personal prayer requests. WE will be together lifting up this City, OUR city, to the Lord who holds us in His hands and I cannot help but to believe that there are greater things yet to come, and greater things still to be done in this city.

Hotel Rwanda

2008-10-22T09:35:00.000-04:00

Last night was the first night in a while that I could actually cuddle up on the couch after a home cooked meal and finally watch the movie I've had for over a week now. Since it's debut last year, I've been intrigued by the movie Hotel Rwanda. I have put off seeing it however due to the graphic scenes that I knew I'd see and just the overall tone that I knew it would cast upon my heart and mind. Without any further delays or procrastination, I sat down last night with a blanket, pillow, and Rob and started the movie.

Starting the movie was simple, watching the movie was not. I wish I could say that I watched the whole thing but that would be a lie. I'd guess I lasted about an hour, maybe even less. I couldn't sit on the couch comfortably wrapped in a blanket and watch people lose their lives by machete. There was one scene where the Hutu's had about 10 Tutsies gathered on the side of the road awaiting to be killed one by one right in front of each other. What made me literally nauseous was that while the Hutu's waved their guns and machetes over their head with wide grins and excited eyes, the camera focused in on one of the Tutsi men, quietly sitting with his head in his hands and you could see the complete emptiness in his soul. I could see the desperation of their situation and I could not fathom having my mother seated to my right, possibly sheltering a small child under her legs for protection, and knowing that I would die, we would die, and we were all going to have to watch it happen. No human being should ever have to witness such acts, however this is the reality of many.

I wanted to keep watching out of respect for their situation but I just couldn't do it and I am disappointed in myself. I need to watch that stuff and I need to be educated on the reality of such places and I failed. I shielded my eyes and I turned my back. One of the most powerful lines in the movie comes from an interaction with an American reporter and the main character (a native from Africa in the movie). When the war has broken out and the massacre is surrounding their hotel, the African says to reporter "thank you for filming the killings as it will allow people to see what is going on here and they'll intervene." The American reporter replies without any feeling or remorse "In all honesty, no one is going to intervene. People will see this on the news and then they'll go back to their dinners and to their lives." (Insert the sound of my stomach hitting the floor here.)

As we turned off the movie not even half way through, I looked at Rob and asked "what do we do?" I want to do something. Delivering medical supplies is no longer enough to me, but what can I do? I am a 29 year old, white female with no military experience and nothing to contribute to such genocides, but I cannot be one of those people who will see such slaughtering and turn back to my dinner and back to my life. I am heartsick over this and I cannot just turn off my "I care" button. And I can't help but wonder what if we all cared?

Worth sharing...

2008-10-20T12:59:00.001-04:00

http://shawnsblogspot.wordpress.com/2008/10/20/i-am-not-a-mistake-i-am-a-one-issue-man/

NKOTB

2008-10-10T12:10:00.000-04:00

This past weekend 5 girls from SC, DC, and Texas embarked on a Girl's Weekend to Chicago for some much needed "girly" time and a little light hearted fun. Staying on the Magnificent Mile in downtown Chicago with 4 of your girlfriends is kind of like letting a sugar-deprived 6 year old loose in Wonka World. The sights of shiny store windows, the smell of coffee and corner bakeries, and the hustle and bustle of the fast paced Chicago lifestyle can be pretty overwhelming! Luckily for my bank account, my recent trip to a third world country helped put the shopping spree that lay in front of me into perspective (although I slipped up in Forever 21).

With shopping, amazing food, and lots of laughter in toe, we headed out on Saturday night for the main event...the New Kids on the Block Reunion Tour! Holla at your girl! Although what started off as a fun night to laugh about and be somewhat embarrassed about, turned into 2 of the most exciting hours of my life (sad but true)! NKOTB is back ladies and gents and I don't care who knows that I am a fan!

These boys sang and danced, possibly even better than they did in their prime, for over two hours straight. What that meant for their committed, faithful, adoring fans is that we sang, screamed and jumped up and down for over two hours straight. As a light show kicked off the concert and began to spell out the letters NKOTB (see photo above) I was instantly back in the sixth grade. When they started to arise out of the floor in the opening moments, I thought my heart was going to burst and I am pretty sure my vocal cords nearly did just that. I was young again and I was in love again with Joey and Donnie. Bald or not, Donnie still rocks and Joey still has the best hair ever. Period.

Thanks NKOTB for letting 6 girls (we picked up a 6th friend for the night thanks to a Craigslist posting we posted) feel young again. You gave us a chance to forget about everything life has taught us over the last 17 or so years and for one night we got to be little girls again without a care in the world, with smiles plastered all over our faces, with tears streaming down cheeks (Tracy and Mary;), and you let us through "coolness" right out the windows of the Allstate Arena. You're still hot, you can still sing, and 4 out of 5 of you still have full head's of hair. Rock on NKOTB!!!!

Me, working out??? What next, World peace?

2008-10-09T17:55:00.000-04:00

That's right folks, Brittany Meyers has offically started working out again! After taking a "work-out" hiatus for the last 7 years, I've finally turned over a new leaf. The craziest part is that I actually love it! My body actually craves more of it and this week, having a stomach bug and not being able to go to the gym after work has felt pretty lame:(

I'm trying to recruit a local trainer to host a "boot camp" session once a week for Citadel employees on campus during our lunch hour. If you have any connections, shoot me a comment.

If a bootcamp happens plus my weekly sessions, there will be no excuse to not have a "Gun show" during '09's beach season.

Why?

2008-09-29T14:25:00.001-04:00

At The Citadel there is a section in the cadet's newspaper entitled "The Why Column". The Whys are always my favorite to read and it is the first section I've flipped to over my 10 year relationship with this great institution. As I am exhaustively sitting in my cubicle after working all weekend, I figured I'd send out my own "whys" today.

Why do I have to work all weekend, yet I do not receive comp time like our Assistant does? I do not make what a Director makes however when it comes to comp time all of a sudden I am granted Director status and must be back at work Monday morning?

Why does no one in my office communicate with each other?
Why did we have 4 hours of our Annual Staff Retreat designated to better communication practices and still no one communicates?
Why am I covering two positions now and being paid for one?
Why do I wish I was in 100 degree weather, dripping with sweat in Nicaragua, as opposed to sitting on my cushioned chair in our air conditioned office?

Simple Moments=Wonderful Memories

2008-09-23T15:01:00.000-04:00

Playing with 70's and 80's glasses can be FUN! Too bad someone really had to wear those home.

Who knew laying in the grass, under the Nicaraguan sky with new girlfriends could be so much fun and an awesome way to close out another great day at the clinic?!

Warning: Drinking from your water bottle on Ariel's bus, do not try this at home kids!

Save the Pollo Campaign's Inaugural team meeting and Board Member photo.

I've never been more excited to eat Papa John's in my entire life! Simple pleasures in life are the best!

No more, No less.

2008-09-19T16:46:00.000-04:00

No more, no less. That is where I am at in my life right now and let me tell you, it feels pretty darn good.

I am totally content (or satisfied depending on who you ask) and I really "want" for nothing right now. I have found something over the last few months both in myself and outside of myself that has completely changed my world for the better. I feel as though I have won some sort of sweepstakes that I didn't even know I entered. I can take deep breathes, I can stop second guessing, and I can rest easily in the fact that I never was in control and that's exactly how it was supposed to be.

Short story short, my life is amazing. No more, no less.

Confessions of the Bathroom Monitor (Revisited)

2008-09-17T14:14:00.000-04:00

Although I still have a few more Nicaraguan moments to share, I thought I'd take a break from that today in honor of the recent, resurfacing issues that my office seems to have with people's bathroom etiquette. The blog below is an oldie from my first blog (www.brittanymeyers.blogspot.com) which I though I would bring out and dust off for the day. Nicaragua shall return...

Don't get me wrong, I love my new office. It's spacious, has beautiful furniture, and is way more than I deserve, but the location leaves a little something to be desired! My office sits directly in front of the women's bathroom and for whatever reason everyone who enters the restroom feels the need to comment on their experience. I used to look up from my keyboard every time someone went in but now I avoid looking up like the plague, hoping no one will see me sitting there and want to talk about their experience.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't need to know how every person's experience with the hand soap was. I swear I've heard every comment from "I hate that the soap doesn't lather. It really bothers me" to "yummy, do you think the bathroom soap smells like mint chocolate chip ice cream?" NOOOOOOO! First of all, I agree that the soap doesn't lather however if that is your biggest concern all day than please trade lives with me! And second, EWWW, why would I want to smell the non-lathering soap and dream of it being ice cream! On another note, although I agree it is rude, I refuse to keep a log of who went in there before you and if I heard the toilet flush. You probably think I am kidding but I have been asked to do that and I am just not down with being the "bathroom monitor" for a bunch of professionals who should know by now to flush.

I will say one of the perks of sitting here is watching every one's reaction when they are on a mission to the restroom and suddenly discover someone beat them to it. I think I could create a whole personality theory based on these reactions alone. Just to highlight a few:

1. The Snapper: The snapper seems to be more relaxed than most and has a carefree outlook on life. They give a hearty "oh shucks" snap when they need to go but cannot get in.
2. The "Oh-Man!": The "Oh-Man" tends to be more vocal and often feels the need to be the center of attention. They don't mind voicing their discontent to the whole office when nature calls and they cannot answer.
3. The "what...I didn't try to go in there?": These people are a little more self-conscious than the rest and try to keep a low profile. They don't like attention and would rather no one notice that they just tried to go in but couldn't. I think they view it as a form of rejection. These people give the door a slight push and when it doesn't open, they are swiftly on their way to the copy machine or water cooler in one single swoop, acting as if they never attempted to open the door in the first place. Don't worry guys and gals, no one is judging you on the fact that you needed to go, although if it were up to some people I'd have my ear pressed to the door to ensure you went and flushed and would then plug the stats into an excel spreadsheet! No pressure guys!
4. The Slammers: I think the slammers are my favorite! They seem to be the go-getter's in life, always on the move, and take life by the horns. These eager beavers are on such a mission that they proceed to slam into the door before realizing it's locked. This painful encounter usually follows with a grab of the shoulder that they just almost dislocated and a booming laugh. You'd think after one or two painful bathroom trips they'd slow down and ease into the entry but they are clueless. Gotta love their enthusiasm!

I know I've rambled on, but before I close may I leave everyone with a few words of wisdom from the bathroom monitor: Please enter carefully, if it's locked, don't get down on yourself, pick your ego back up off the floor and give it one more valiant try in roughly two minutes. Please remember to wash your hands before you leave. If the soap smells like food, don't eat it. If it doesn't lather, still use it. And for every one's peace of mind, FLUSH! Above all, have fun in there! If I'm going to have to hear about your experience I want to make sure it was a good one!